Sometimes the best reaction is having no reaction at all.
can sometimes make things worse, and they can also be
misinterpreted and used against you. So knowing how to react and when to
react can make all the difference. Delaying a reaction can give
you the time needed to think before you speak or act, this way you can
avoid saying something stupid
or doing something stupid
is an intense
response. Extremely upset to the point of screaming, or having a violent
physical reaction. Pissed off. But you can be quite and motionless when
angry, because there are times when you're not sure that the place you're in would be
time to show your anger
. Anger is something that you can
. You can laugh at a joke
or get upset at a joke, but neither
reaction explains very little about how you
Anger is not a right or is anger a measurement of
. Anger can only be
justified when it is absolutely necessary at a particular moment in time.
Dealing with a problem is determined by your knowledge. Always getting
angry does more harm then good. Figuring out how to
solve a particular
is a lot better then just yelling at a problem
. How you
something may not always be
. And how you react
to something may not always be the best and the most effective
. Look before
We are more susceptible to anger when we are
and even hot
. Knowing and
understanding these factors is the first step to controlling these
influences. People get cranky, grouchy, grumpy and
you must understand why this happens in order to protect yourself.
is to lose one's composure. Afflicted with or marked by anxious
uneasiness or trouble or grief. Thrown into a state of disarray or
confusion. Mildly physically distressed. An unhappy and worried mental
state. The act of disturbing the mind or body.
. If your
(supposed) best buddy embarrasses you in front of a big crowd, your
friendship could turn into animosity. A feeling of ill will arousing
is a feeling of ill will arousing
active Hostility. Hatred
is to annoy continually or
chronically. Call forth (emotions, feelings, and responses).
resistance. Arousing animosity
hostility. Incapable of harmonious association.
is incited or provoked, especially deliberately, to anger.
is a common emotional
to opposition. Related to anger, annoyance and
disappointment, frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the
fulfillment of an individual's will or goal and is likely to increase when
a will or goal is denied or blocked. There are two types of frustration;
internal and external. Internal frustration may arise from challenges in
fulfilling personal goals, desires, instinctual drives and needs, or
dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of
of social situations. Conflict, such as when one has competing goals that
interfere with one another, can also be an internal source of frustration
and can create cognitive
. External causes of frustration involve conditions outside
of an individual's control, such as a physical roadblock, a difficult
task, or the perception of wasting time. There are multiple ways
individuals cope with frustration such as
behavior, anger, or violence. This makes it
difficult to identify the original cause(s) of their frustration, as the
responses are indirect. However, a more direct and common response is a
propensity towards aggression
is an unpleasant mental state that is
characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's
conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger.
The property of being easily annoyed is called
, which is an excitation response to
is an emotional response of revulsion to something considered offensive,
distasteful, or unpleasant.
is a feeling of deep and
bitter anger and ill-will.
is to feel bitter or indignant
about. Angered at something unjust or wrong. Wish ill or allow
There is no
being an as*hole. If you Blame
others for your f*ckup
that's your fault. This is not to say we over react
sometimes and make
when you keep making the same
mistakes over and over, without making any attempts to
person or persons, then you have a very serious problem. This goes beyond
is a psychological distortion
that needs to be
is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the
expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to
differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal
choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling
disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of
. The study of
disappointment—its causes, impact, and the degree to which individual
decisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it—is a focus in the field of
decision analysis, as disappointment is, along with regret, one of two
primary emotions involved in decision-makingMania
is a state
of abnormally elevated arousal, affect, and energy level, or "a state of
heightened overall activation with enhanced affective expression together
with lability of affect as the mania intensifies, irritability may become
more pronounced and eventuate in violence
Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress
common law tort
allows individuals to recover for severe emotional distress caused by
another individual who intentionally or
distress by behaving in a way that was "extreme and outrageous". (IIED is
sometimes called the tort of outrage).
"We all experience anger; anger only
becomes a serious concern when an individual is angry too frequently, too
intensely, and for too long." — Raymond W. Novaco, 1984.
is a feeling of intense, violent, or growing anger. It is sometimes
associated with the fight-or-flight response, and is often activated in
response to being in the presence of a threat. The phrase "thrown into a
fit of rage" expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs from
extended exposure to a threat. If left unchecked, rage may lead to
violence against the threat.
is aggressive or angry behavior by a driver of an
automobile or other road vehicle which includes rude gestures, verbal
insults, physical threats or dangerous driving methods targeted toward
another driver in an effort to intimidate or release frustration. Road
rage can lead to altercations, assaults and collisions that result in
serious physical injuries or even death. It can be thought of as an
extreme case of aggressive driving.
is defined by the National Highway
Traffic Safety Administration as the behaviour of an individual who
"commits a combination of moving traffic offences so as to endanger other
persons or property."
refers to acts of verbal or gestural anger or
physical aggression between cyclists and other users of bike paths or
roadways, including pedestrians, other cyclists, motorcyclists, or
drivers. Bike rage can consist of shouting at other road users, making
obscene gestures or threats, hitting or punching, or in rare cases, even
more violent acts. The term can refer either to acts committed by cyclists
or by drivers. Bike rage is related to other explosive outbursts of anger
such as road rage.
Wrapper Struggle Rage
is the common name for heightened
levels of anger and frustration resulting from the inability to open
packaging, particularly some heat-sealed plastic blister packs and
clamshells. People can potentially be injured from attempts at opening
difficult packages: use of cutting tools can pose a risk of damage to the
contents of the package. Easy-opening systems are available to improve
package opening convenience.
is physical or verbal abuse towards a computer
or computer-related accessory due to heightened anger or frustration.
Examples of computer rage include cursing or yelling at a computer,
slamming or throwing keyboards and mice, and assaulting the computer or
monitor with an object or weapon.
is the general term for disruptive or violent
behavior perpetrated by passengers and crew of aircraft, typically during
flight. Air rage has been defined as "aberrant, abnormal, or violent
behavior exhibited during the air travel process".
is increased anger when taking Anabolic
is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and pervasive elevated (euphoric) with or without irritable
mood but generally less severe than full mania.
is when you're easily angered; frequently losing one's temper.
is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in
emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness,
crying, screaming, defiance, anger ranting, a resistance to attempts at
pacification and, in some cases, hitting. Physical control may be lost;
the person may be unable to remain still; and even if the "goal" of the
person is met, he or she may not be calmed. A tantrum may be expressed in
a tirade: a protracted, angry, or violent speech.
is a psychological term from the parlance of
defense mechanisms and self-control, meaning to perform an action in
contrast to bearing and managing the impulse to perform it. The acting
done is usually anti-social and may take the form of acting on the
impulses of an addiction (e.g. drinking, drug taking or shoplifting) or in
a means designed (often unconsciously or semi-consciously) to garner
attention (e.g. throwing a tantrum or behaving promiscuously). In general
usage, the action performed is destructive to self or others and may
inhibit the development of more constructive responses to the feelings in
question. The term is used in this way in sexual addiction treatment,
psychotherapy, criminology and parenting.
is a mental disorder that causes periods of
depression and periods of elevated mood. The elevated mood is significant
and is known as mania or hypomania, depending on its severity, or whether
symptoms of psychosis are present. During mania, an individual behaves or
feels abnormally energetic, happy, or irritable. Individuals often make
poorly thought out decisions with little regard to the consequences. The
need for sleep is usually reduced during manic phases. During periods of
depression, there may be crying, a negative outlook on life, and poor eye
contact with others. The risk of suicide among those with the illness is
high at greater than 6 percent over 20 years, while self-harm occurs in
30–40 percent. Other mental health issues such as anxiety disorders and
substance use disorder are commonly associated.
is cognition, thinking, talking or acting
without inclusion of rationality. It is more specifically described as an
action or opinion given through inadequate use of reason, or through
emotional distress or cognitive deficiency. The term is used, usually
pejoratively, to describe thinking and actions that are, or appear to be,
less useful, or more illogical than other more rational alternatives.
Irrational behaviors of individuals include taking offense or becoming
angry about a situation that has not yet occurred, expressing emotions
exaggeratedly (such as crying hysterically), maintaining unrealistic
expectations, engaging in irresponsible conduct such as problem
intoxication, disorganization, or extravagance, and falling victim to
confidence tricks. People with a mental illness like schizophrenia may
exhibit irrational paranoia.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
is a behavioral disorder characterized
by explosive outbursts of anger and violence, often to the point of rage,
that are disproportionate to the situation at hand (e.g., impulsive
screaming triggered by relatively inconsequential events). Impulsive
aggression is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate
reaction to any provocation, real or perceived. Some individuals have
reported affective changes prior to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood
changes, energy changes, etc.)
is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a
perceived threat to a narcissist's self-esteem or self-worth.
is a military doctrine and nuclear
strategy in which a state commits itself to retaliate in much greater
force in the event of an attack.
is a human who is perceived to be either uncivilised or primitive. In
idiomatic or figurative usage, a "barbarian" may also be an individual
reference to a brutal, cruel, warlike, insensitive person.
Addiction Side Effects
is a defense mechanism leading to the temporary or long-term reversion of
the ego to an earlier stage of development rather than handling
unacceptable impulses in a more [adaptive] way. The defense mechanism of
regression, in psychoanalytic theory, occurs when an individual's
personality reverts to an earlier stage of development, adopting more
is a psychological construct, it is a mental and emotional entity that
inheres in, or characterizes a person. They are complex and an acquired
state through experiences. It is an individual's predisposed state of mind
regarding a value and it is precipitated through a responsive expression
toward a person, place, thing, or event (the attitude object) which in
turn influences individual's thought and action.
is an emotional state of intense discomfort
with oneself, experienced when having a socially unacceptable act or
condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss
of honor or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the
embarrassing situation. It is similar to shame, except that shame may be
experienced for an act known only to oneself. Also, embarrassment usually
carries the connotation of being caused by an act that is merely socially
unacceptable, rather than morally wrong.
is a pattern of angry/irritable mood,
argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness lasting at least six
months". Unlike children with conduct disorder (CD), children with
oppositional defiant disorder are not aggressive towards people or
animals, do not destroy property, and do not show a pattern of theft or
deceit. A diagnosis of ODD is also no longer applicable if the individual
is diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD).
refers to an emotional response that
is poorly modulated, and does not fall within the conventionally accepted
range of emotive response. ED may be referred to as labile mood (marked
fluctuation of mood) or mood swings.
how not to
get angry using methods
also be a psycho-therapeutic
, described as defusing anger
successfully. Anger is frequently a result of frustration or
, or feeling
blocked or thwarted from something we feel to be
. Anger can also
be a defensive response
to underlying fear or feelings of
powerlessness. Anger management programs consider anger to be a motivation
caused by an identifiable reason which can be
, and if
suitable worked toward.
Instead of reacting
and attacking with anger, react with
understanding. Learning to understand is a lot more effective, a
lot more efficient, and a lot more beneficial on the mind, the
body, and the world. It's a Win Win for everyone, and everything.
is to reduce the danger or
tension in a difficult situation. Let the air clear. Let someone
cool off. Let someone calm down. Give someone time to think, but make sure
that their anger is not going to get worse.
Defuse a Situation With a Difficult Customer
Things don't create anger, people create anger because of their
reaction to things
. And reactions are based on a persons
their knowledge, and their experiences. This is why people can
react to the same thing differently then one another.
, which isolates people. We need to learn how to
communicate more effectively
, so that we can be more
understanding of one another, instead of being misunderstood and
creating barriers that impedes our ability to communicate and
sympathize with each other. We are an intelligent species, but we
have to learn how to be intelligent
in order to be intelligent.
violence begets violence
, and anger begets anger, the key is
not to harbor any anger or
because it is a poison to the mind and the body.
increase violence and crimes
You can't get angry with people just because they don't
understand the same things that you do
. The feeling of anger
should only be used as an indicator that says "questions need to
be answered". The emotion of anger is not necessary, and many
times anger is counterproductive. Anger is you being frustrated
with yourself, because you still haven't learned how to
communicate effectively, with yourself, or with others.
There is nothing shameful about getting angry
, as long as you
don't get angry all the time at everything. Controlling anger
takes time. The more you are aware of yourself, the more you can
control yourself. And don't think that anger is something that
you could fully remove from your behavior, anger is there for a
reason as part of a defense mechanism. But if anger is over
used, it does more harm then good. Problem solving doesn't need
anger, in fact anger inhibits problem solving and communication.
Anger is only useful when you absolutely need to use it to
express urgency, and hopefully that is very seldom, otherwise
anger does more harm then good. When transferring knowledge or
information, we should use the most effective and efficient mode
of transfer, otherwise we communicate and express emotion and
feelings for nothing.
"I don't have a quick temper, I just have a quick reaction to
Patience - Tolerance
How can a person be aware of the benefits of having patience and tolerance
if they never learned the
and logic behind it?
Patience and tolerance gives you more control and more
, and not to sit idly, but to use the power of patience
and tolerance to explore and find ways to improve life in any
You don't want to encourage a
that might be
unbeneficial, you want to carefully find a way to improve a
particular behavior, and at the same time understand this
behavior more accurately. When it comes to conflicts, others
may become over whelmed with fear and doubt and become
incapacitated and be unable to act effectively, and others will
But if you understand
the power of patience and tolerance
you will be methodically working towards
solutions, and at the same time be an
along the way. That's the power of patience and tolerance, but
it's only the beginning. There are many other elements that go
just having patience and
tolerance, and when you learn all the other
knowledge and information
that is involved, you will begin
to understand the power of knowledge. You will no longer be
distracted, or discouraged, or manipulated like you were before.
It is one of the most grandest liberations you will ever
experience. You have the Power.
is the state of endurance under
difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face
of delay or
provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way;
or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when
faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of
endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to
refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Antonyms
include hastiness and impetuousness. Enduring trying
circumstances with even temper or characterized by such
tolerance of delay or incompetence.
is showing patient and unruffled
and restraint under adversity; slow
to retaliate or express resentmentHave
, but don't
is showing respect for the
or opinions or
others. Tolerant and forgiving under provocation.
Able to tolerate environmental conditions or physiological
stress. Showing the capacity for endurance.
A disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior. A
permissible difference; allowing some freedom to move within
Willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of
others. Tolerate unfavorable environmental conditions.
Put up with something or somebody
. Allow the presence
of or allow (an activity) without opposing or prohibiting.
Learning to adapt or modify in order to improve a difficult
You need to learn how to accept someone and understand
someone without enabling
them or encouraging them by being
doesn't work either.
is to become different in some particular way, without permanently
losing one's or its former characteristics or essence.
An event that occurs when something passes from one state or
phase to another. Give to, and receive from, one another.
is to make fit for, or change to suit a new purpose. Adjust oneself to new or different conditions.
Alter or regulate so as to achieve accuracy or conform to a
"Every bad moment or mistake that is
fraught with anger or punishment is another lost opportunity to
learn something valuable."
"Never look down on someone unless you're
trying to help them up."
from your experiences will help you to be more
aware of your options and your choices so that you can take the
, instead of inappropriately
situation. Act, not react. Respond to a situation rather than
just reacting to it. Don't allow outside influences to
, or distract you from the
surrounds a particular situation.
Sadly, there are some people who actually like
only because they have not yet realized how
it is, and they also haven't learned
. Be careful not to get fooled into playing other
peoples games, especially games of conflict.
This is another course of study we will have to
add to our education, we'll call it "Good Ways to Avoid
This goes way beyond Dominators, Influencers, Cooperators and
Detailers. You have to stand up for what is right, like when
being an Activist
But you don't want to make things worse. So
you have to learn how to
and learn how to avoid
“No one is born hating another
person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his
religion. People must
learn to hate
, and if they can learn to
, they can be taught to love, for
comes more naturally to the human heart than
(wiki) - Love is the
is a state of prolonged public dispute or debate, usually
concerning a matter of conflicting opinion or point of view.
Passive Aggressive Behavior
is a civil rights/human relations
occurs when an acting party's right to
freedom of speech
curtailed or restricted by the government in order to prevent a reacting
Terms of Service
is the process by which conflicts
grow in severity over time.
is lack of respect
accompanied by a
feeling of intense dislike.
"What makes you mad is not the
reason you're mad, the reason you're mad is because you've gone
"No one can make you angry, you can only choose to be angry, so
the choice is yours."
is the end of a sentence
or explanation. Enough said. I no longer want to speak.Patience
"For every minute you are angry you
lose sixty seconds of happiness."
) - More Life Quotes
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not
due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this
you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Angry Young Man -
What are the differences between being irritated, offended,
, having a short temper, being
and being in an
? Is it all
? Can you have an
and still be
What's the difference between
and Biting the Hand that Feeds You?
Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
is a response that reveals a person's feelings or attitude. Doing
something in opposition to another way of doing it that you
Show a response or a reaction to something. Act against or in
opposition to. An idea evoked by some experience.
A bodily process occurring due to the effect of some antecedent
stimulus or agent.
describes what happens when humans vary their actions according to social
contexts and how it will affect other people; when a potential reaction is
not desirable, the action is modified accordingly. Action can mean either
a basic action (one that has a meaning) or an advanced social action,
which not only has a meaning but is directed at other actors and causes
action (or, perhaps, inaction).
This is not to say that people are not going
to catch you at a bad time, or catch you off guard. Any one can be
vulnerable to reactions they regret, especially when they are not
themselves or not in a good mood.It's not
how you reacted at first, it's what you do next
. Getting mad at
something or someone, happens, this is because humans have emotions. And
when things happen expectantly or without notice, we can easily over
react. But the most important thing that you do, is what you do next. Your
first reaction is over, now what? You need to communicate and learn about
the cause of the reaction, the external causes and internal causes. And
this is why Intelligent Machines or AI can benefit humans. Machines don't
, so machines don't over react.
AI simply processes the information that it is programed to process, and
then communicates the information based on the rules of the program and
how much knowledge and information is
at that time. The machines awareness can be as big or wide as it needs to
be. If you don't have an AI Machine, then you will have to use
the intelligent machine between your ears
is a statement (either spoken or written) that is made to reply to
a question or request or criticism or accusation.
is to be against; express opposition to. Fight against or resist
strongly. Set into opposition or rivalry.
is a defensive process (defense
mechanism) in which emotions and impulses which are anxiety-producing or
perceived to be unacceptable are mastered by exaggeration (hypertrophy) of
the directly opposing tendency. The reaction formations belong to Level
III of neurotic defense mechanisms,[clarification needed] which also
include intellectualization, dissociation, displacement and repression.
Belligerent outbursts with screaming and yelling is disturbing
behavior that needs to be minimized before harm and damage
becomes too severe and impossible to manage. If a person cannot
learn to control their emotions
, then most likely,
is needed. Always jumping to conclusions without
fully understanding where you are headed is dangerous. You have
to learn to put yourself into other people's shoes.
is hostile or
nature. Impossible to bring into friendly accord. A hostile
(very unfriendly) disposition.
Not disposed to friendship or friendliness.
Characterized by enmity or
is a representation of something in an
excessive manner. Worry
is showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; Feeling a need
to see others suffer. Hurt the feelings of.
unrestrained expression of emotion
A sudden violent disturbance
is an activity that is a malfunction,
intrusion, or interruption. (psychiatry) a psychological
disorder of thought or emotion; a more neutral term than mental
illness or disease of the mind.
The Negative and Bitter Attributes of
Bitterness, Resentment or Deep Pain resulting from horrible
times in your past, will always resurface later on in life.
Please take the necessary steps to overcome these feelings, and
move on. There's no need to be Susceptible or Vulnerable.
You have learn to let it go and never forget that you are in
control. Command Yourself. Your
will listen to you,
is a feeling of deep and bitter anger
and ill-will marked by strong resentment or cynicism. Very
difficult to accept or bear.
is believing the worst of human nature
and motives; Having a sneering disbelief in the selflessness of
instruction to do something.
is a feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been
treated unfairly. Angered at something unjust or wrong.
A feeling of provoked anger. Strike with disgust or revulsion.
Cause aversion in; offend the moral sense of.
is the foundation of
. It is not one of the six basic
of surprise, disgust, happiness,
sadness, anger, and fear. Resentment is a mixture of disappointment,
anger, and fear
. It comprises the three basic
emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise—the
of injustice. As the
surprise of injustice
less frequent, so too fades anger and fear, leaving disappointment as the
predominant emotion. So, to the extent perceived disgust and sadness
remain, the level of disappointment also remains.
Why don't people just say what
they mean instead of just screaming how they feel.
is only effective when its sincere and honest. if you are using
too much emotion to communicate eventually people will be less
responsive and will
always find it hard to know if you are sincere and honest.
Faking emotions can be dangerous to yourself and others. This is not the same as
Don't Cry Wolf
is defined as "to give a false alarm", so
much so, that you create
I wasted a lot of
time being angry at things that I didn't understand
. I was
ignorantly reacting to situations instead of learning about what
those situations meant. I was acting more like a four year old
then I was an adult. And that is when I realized that I had no
idea what being an adult was. I also realized that no one else
knew what being an adult was. So this is another course in the BK101 education curriculum that must be designed. I see people
being aggravated, but why do people
others for their
aggravation? They themselves are the cause of the aggravation.
If something is wrong or not right then learn how to correct it.
Being mad at a problem does not
solve the problem
, it only
the problem worse
is an excessive
reaction with unnecessary or inappropriate force,
inappropriate emotional display
Patience and Tolerance without Acceptance
- WrongFirst-Order Reaction
that proceeds at a rate that depends linearly on only one
is having a preoccupation, fixation, or
psychological block that is complex and a source of annoying difficulty or
Passive Aggressive Behavior
is an indirect expression of
hostility, such as through procrastination,
sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish
requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible,
like some politicians
do. Negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for
adequate performance in social and occupational situations. Characterized by a habitual pattern of
expected work requirements, opposition, sullenness,
stubbornness, and negative attitudes in response to requirements
for normal performance levels expected of others willful
incompetence. Either you're a lazy piece of shit who doesn't
care about life or other people, or you have
. Passive Aggressive Behavior is not to be
confused with refusing unreasonable requests, or
Don't let the criminals and the
as*holes attack you twice
. Scumbags may attack your
physical self, but don't let them attack you from the inside.
Don't let a bad experience linger and cause you to replay the
bullshit over and over. Learn from it and move on. And one way
of doing that is learning Self Control
which is a skill that covers many different subjects and several
areas of knowledge. Learn this skill, it is extremely powerful.
It's the gift that keeps on giving, and it will benefit you your
entire life. There are as*holes in the world that we have to
deal with from time to time. Treat them like the children they
are and learn from that moment and educate others about that
moment in the best way possible, and then move on. Don't let the
as*holes linger like radio active fallout from a nuclear bomb.
Learning how to not let horrible experiences ruin your life is
like having the ultimate protection, an impenetrable
you from all the as*holes in the world.
may not be a sign of weakness
, but it maybe a sign or an
indicator of injustice
So when I see people get mad, I don't jump to conclusions, I
investigate and learn, because the person might be wrong, but
could also be right.
we can use our energy to evoke anger, then we can also use our energy to
. We should use our energy to be
productive instead of wasting our energy to be destructive. We know that
anger and violence is not necessary to communicate with humans, or any
other animal or life form. Physical and mental Punishment in the form of
Discipline is only used by ignorant people who have very little knowledge
about language and the transferring information. If we don't make
knowledge and information more available through the media and through
education, our own ignorance will continue to kill and destroy everything
in its path. Stop these wars, stop the madness, educate, educate,
"Give me the ability to understand the
things I cannot change
, but more importantly, give me the
abilities, skills and knowledge to change the things that need
to be changed."