someone is to relieve
yourself of all the negative
thinking that is generated by that
No more wasting time with Sorrow
, it's time to move on. To forgive yourself is to stop being discouraged by your
But you need to make the changes that you believe will
stop the mistakes from
, and then move on. Don't judge people so much
for the stupid things they said or did,
more importantly, see people for the smart things they do now and say now.
If someone hasn't changed or improved morally
then it is most likely that they have not yet learned how to improve, or
learned how to love
is the intentional and voluntary process
by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an
offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an
increased ability to wish the offender well. Forgiveness is different from
condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness),
excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action),
forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness),
by a representative of society, such as a
), and reconciliation
of a relationship).
that is created from a lack of knowledge and information about yourself
and the world around you. Something that makes you
feel uncomfortable or irritates you does not need to be hated.
Hatred will not help you
what the problem is, hating will
only make things worse. If you don't like something or if something
is wrong or unjust, hating it will not solve the problem. Only
is a deep and extreme emotional dislike. It can be
directed against individuals, groups, entities, objects, behaviors, or
ideas. Hatred is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a
disposition towards hostility.
is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations
or hopes to manifest. Similar to
differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal
choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling
disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of
psychological stress. The study of disappointment—its causes, impact, and
the degree to which individual decisions are motivated by a desire to
is a person who is no longer
close or affectionate to someone. No positive feeling of liking. To turn
away from a previously held state of affection. The lack of love and the
absence of emotion or enthusiasm. Socially disoriented. Alienated or
caused to be unloved. Disaffect or arouse hostility or indifference in
where there had formerly been love, affection, or friendliness.
Guns N' Roses
of yourself and
, but if you have not yet
learned what reality is, or learned how to control yourself, then you and
others will continue to be victims of
is a lot more productive with less crime
, waste and
is seen as
form of emotionally charged aggressive behavior. In everyday speech it is
more commonly used as a synonym for Anger
So what is Hate
, say it again.
is a form of primitive
usually assumed to be
enacted in the absence of the norms of formal law and jurisprudence.
Often, revenge is defined as being a harmful action against a person or
group in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived. It is used to
right a wrong by going outside of the law. This is because the individual
taking revenge feels as though the law
will not do justice. Revenge is also known as payback, retribution,
retaliation, or vengeance; it may be characterized as a form of justice
(not to be confused with retributive justice), an altruistic action which
enforces societal or moral justice aside from the legal system. Why is
a waste of time?
Why is an
Eye for an Eye
Illogical? An Eye for an Eye
leaves everyone blind
someone a taste of their own medicine
do the same bad thing to someone that they have often done to you, in
order to show them how unpleasant it is. Except that
two wrongs don't make a right
Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is a type of revenge. But
sometimes making people feel the pain that they caused is a form of
learning. But we know now that
and ineffective. Solving problems is about learning, not hurting.
is to be the source of pain. The act
or someone. Cause damage or affect negatively. Cause
or make miserable. Hurt the feelings of. Any
physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture
etc.. Psychological suffering. Feelings of mental or
- Know Thyself
feel bad about making. A feeling or expressing regret or sorrow or a sense
of loss over something done or undone.
that you're Sorry
is to let a person know that
you made a mistake and you feel bad about it. To acknowledge faults or
shortcomings or failing.
How to Apologize
"Saying sorry doesn't mean a thing when you don't change
"Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong and
the other person is right, it means that you value your relationship more
then your ego
is an inflated feeling of pride in your perceived superiority to others.
"Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be
"I would rather care about people and help people and understand
people, instead of just feeling sorry for people. Just feeling sorry for
people does very little for the people in need.
is almost useless if no
actions are taken to help the people you are empathizing with. Small steps
continually made can solve any problem.
When you choose to see the good in others,
you end up finding the good in yourself.
When you can see the bad in others, you should be able to see
the bad in yourself.
Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
. When someone treats you badly
do not take
or get even or get back at someone by repeating the
same ignorant behavior. This kind of action usually makes things
worse and seldom teaches the other person about how hurtful or
how damaging their actions were. Plus this kind of revenge can
have a negative affect and make you look like the guilty one.
A thorough communication is needed to explain why this action
was inappropriate and why you take offence. Do not look for an
, only except it when given. Just make the person
understand that you are aware of this inappropriate behavior and
that you do not appreciate it's implications or its timing.
The Forgiveness Project
Why do they Glorify Revenge in
, knowing that it encourages
is much more
effective in correcting a perceived wrong.
is the willingness to seek revenge or intended for revenge. Showing
malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite.
Action taken in return for an injury or offense. Take revenge
for a perceived wrong. Retaliate.
Make a counterattack and return like for like, especially
evil for evil
is feeling a need to see others suffer.
"People have problems, but it's
not their fault, this is what happens to people when there's too
much abuse and not enough care."
"To forgive is to set a
prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. -
Lewis B. Smedes
Love is the Way
Love communicates much more effectively, but only if the
you're expressing is honest and accurate. Sometimes
and emotion can also be effective in communicating, but only if
it's honest and accurate, and only, if you immediately follow
your outburst with a message of love and understanding, never
end with anger. If you want to solve a problem, you must learn
to communicate your ideas effectively, you must use the most
effective methods of communication, and use the most effective
methods of teaching. I'm not saying that you should never get
angry or never
express yourself emotionally
, I'm saying that
anger a lot of times interferes with your message, and not just
that, anger can also provoke violence, and anger can also be
hurtful and traumatic to the receivers of your anger.
So love is
. But you must Learn the Way of
Love, and that is done by educating yourself with the the
best knowledge and skills that society has to offer.
And that is what
I'm working on
In order to connect with people and to
have healthy interactions, you have to
learn to accept people for who they are
. This is not saying
that you should ignore someone's differences, it's just saying
that you should not let other peoples differences get in the way
of understanding them. You don't want to force people to change,
or blame them for not changing, you just want to show people
that changing, modifying or adjusting is not that difficult or
complex, and that everyone goes through changes their whole
life, with some of those changes improving life and other
changes making things worse.
"I don't hate people who do horrible
things, after all, you can't hate ignorant people, ignorant
people don't know what ignorant is, there for we have to find
more ways to communicate and educate each other."
"You only have to forgive once, which is a lot better
then carrying around resentment
reminding yourself of all the bad moments because then you will just waste
a lot of time and energy feeling angry."
A great song about forgiveness is from
Aguilera called "Hurt"
"I don't forgive
people because I'm weak, I forgive them because I am strong
enough to know that people make mistakes."