is the act of excusing a
feelings that support
a willingness to forgive. The intentional and voluntary process
by which a victim
undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an
offense, lets go of negative emotions
, with an
increased ability to wish the offender well. Forgiveness is different from
condoning or failing to see the action as wrong
and in need of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is different from excusing or not holding the offender as responsible for the action.
Forgiveness is different from
forgetting or removing awareness of the offense from consciousness.
Forgiveness is different from
by a representative of society, such as a
. Forgiveness is different
from reconciliation or the restoration
of a relationship.
is the restoration of friendly relations. The action of making one view or
belief compatible with another.
in theology is the end of the
, caused by
, between God and
and saying you're sorry.
of sins forgives mortal
. And if one does not
commit a mortal sin after having been validly absolved, enables one to die
in the "state of grace", able to eventually enter heaven); but it also
allows the valid and non-sinful reception of the sacraments (especially
the Eucharist at Mass), the lawful exercise of ecclesiastical offices and
ministries by laity or clerics, and full participation in the life of the
or condonance may be made when an accuser has previously
forgiven or condoned (in some way or at some level supported) the act
about which they are complaining. In some legal jurisdictions, and for
certain behaviors, it may prevent the accuser from prevailing.
The Forgiveness Project
Atonement in Judaism
is the process of causing a transgression to be
forgiven or pardoned.
What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness: Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix
(video and text).
someone is to relieve
yourself of all the negative
thinking that is generated by that
No more wasting time with sorrow
, it's time to move on. To forgive yourself is to stop being discouraged by your
But you need to make the changes that you believe will
stop the mistakes from
, and then move on. Don't judge people so much
for the stupid things they said or did,
more importantly, see people for the smart things they do now and say now.
If someone hasn't changed or improved morally
then it is most likely that they have not yet learned how to improve, or
learned how to love
I Apologize - I'm Sorry
feel bad about making. A feeling or expressing
or sorrow or a sense
of loss over something done or undone. Having a
that you're Sorry
is to let a person know that
you made a mistake and you feel bad about it. To acknowledge faults or
shortcomings or failing.
How to Apologize
(wiki how) Repentance
(regret) - RemorsePublic Apology
admission of error
or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of
An effective public apology needs to do three things, express
react to the situation, and reassure people that it will not happen again.
Express regret in a genuine way. That
means not hiding behind evasive language
such as "I'm sorry if some people
might have been offended by how some of my remarks were reported in some
quarters". You would not apologize to a loved one like that, so why would
that type of response cut any ice with the wider public?
React to the situation for which you are
apologizing. That means putting right whatever you have done wrong as
quickly as possible
. Again, with bad apologies you often hear people
express regret but then not provide any follow-up detail on how things
have changed since the thing they are apologizing for happened.
Reassure people that you will not do again whatever it is that you are
apologizing for. In other words, you need to stress that you have learnt
- Don't Blame othersAmends
is to compensate for
loss or injury. Something done or paid in expiation of a wrong. To make
is to make amends for,
Turn away from sin or do penitence.I Take
means that you admit that you were
that you said, and you would like to withdraw that comment because it was
inappropriate or inaccurate.
I did not mean what I said because I did not
know what I meant when I said it. I did not think it through. I f*cked up
and made a mistake
and I made an error in judgment. Please forgive me.
Please don't hold it against me.
"Saying sorry doesn't mean a thing when you don't change
your actions or learn from your mistakes
"Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong and
the other person is right, it means that you value your relationship more
than your ego
You don't want to feel sorry for someone
It's better to understand someone
of thinking and communicating. Feeling sorry
for someone does not help them or does it improve communication. Adapting is not
accepting, adapting is keeping the lines of communication open so that a
person can have a chance to adapt to your style of communicating. Then
eventually, you can have a
and not feel divided. Don't feel sorry
I would rather care about people and help people and understand
people, instead of just feeling sorry for people. Just feeling sorry for
people does very little for the people in need.
is almost useless if no
actions are taken to help the people you are empathizing with. Small steps
continually made can solve any problem.
When you choose to see
the good in others
you end up finding the good in yourself.
When you can see the bad in others, you should be able to see
the bad in yourself.
Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
. When someone treats you badly
do not take
or get even or get back at someone by repeating the
same ignorant behavior. This kind of action usually makes things
worse and seldom teaches the other person about how hurtful or
how damaging their actions were. Plus this kind of revenge can
have a negative affect and make you look like the guilty one.
A thorough communication is needed to explain why this action
was inappropriate and why you take offence. Do not look for an
, only except it when given. Just make the person
understand that you are aware of this inappropriate behavior and
that you do not appreciate it's implications or its timing.
When assessing the moral character
others, people cling to good impressions but readily adjust their opinions
about those who have behaved badly, according to new research. This
flexibility in judging transgressors might help explain both how humans
forgive and why they sometimes stay in bad
. Because people sometimes behave badly by accident, we
need to be able to update bad impressions that turn out to be mistaken.
Otherwise, we might end
prematurely and miss out on the many benefits of
are predisposed to forgive and have a basic predisposition towards giving
others, even strangers, the benefit of the doubt. The human mind is built
for maintaining social relationships, even when partners sometimes behave
You just don't stop the abuse and
people will just
forget, you have to make up for all the abuse that you dished out in the
is an inflated feeling of pride in your
"Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be
- Cognitive Distortion
Why do they Glorify Revenge in
, knowing that it encourages
is much more
effective in correcting a perceived wrong.
"To forgive is to set a
prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you
Lewis B. Smedes
"People have problems, but it's not their fault, this is what happens to people when there's too
much abuse and not enough care."
Love is the Way
Love communicates much more effectively, but only if the
you're expressing is honest and accurate. Sometimes
can also be effective in communicating, but only if
it's honest and accurate, and only, if you immediately follow
your outburst with a message of love and understanding, never
end with anger. If you want to solve a problem, you must learn
to communicate your ideas effectively, you must use the most
effective methods of communication, and use the most effective
methods of teaching. I'm not saying that you should never get
angry or never
express yourself emotionally
, I'm saying that
anger a lot of times interferes with your message, and not just
that, anger can also provoke violence, and anger can also be
hurtful and traumatic to the receivers of your anger.
So love is
. But you must Learn the Way of
Love, and that is done by educating yourself with the the
best knowledge and skills that society has to offer.
And that is what
I'm working on
"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would
lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred
behind, I'd still be in prison."
(wiki) - No one is Born
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a
burden to bear."
Martin Luther King, Jr
“We must develop and maintain the
capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of
the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in
the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our
Martin Luther King, Jr
In order to connect with people and to
have healthy interactions, you have to
learn to accept people for who they are
. This is not saying
that you should ignore someone's differences, it's just saying
that you should not let other peoples differences get in the way
of understanding them. You don't want to force people to change,
or blame them for not changing, you just want to show people
that changing, modifying or adjusting is not that difficult or
complex, and that everyone goes through changes their whole
life, with some of those changes improving life and other
changes making things worse.
"I don't hate people who do horrible
things, after all, you can't hate ignorant people, ignorant
people don't know what ignorant is, there for we have to find
more ways to communicate and educate each other."
"You only have to forgive once, which is a lot better
then carrying around resentment
reminding yourself of all the bad moments because then you will just waste
a lot of time and energy feeling angry."
A great song about forgiveness is from
Aguilera called "Hurt"
"I don't forgive
people because I'm weak, I forgive them because I am strong
enough to know that people make mistakes."
Hating - Hatred - Hate Speech
is a deep and
extreme emotional dislike
. It can be
directed against individuals,
, entities, objects, behaviors, or
ideas. Hatred is often associated with feelings
is a deep and emotional extreme dislike
that can be directed
against individuals, entities, objects, or ideas. Hatred is often
associated with feelings of
and a moral
refers to feelings and acts of
and hostility towards an ethnic group in various degrees.
, dislike, distrust or contempt of
the human species or human nature. Misanthropist or Misanthrope is someone who
dislikes people in general
is speech which
a person or
a group on the
basis of attributes
such as gender, ethnic origin, religion, race,
disability, or sexual orientation.
- DivideInciting Violence
what ignorant scumbags do. They love to play the
and pretend to have a
solution to problems, when they are in fact, part of the problem.
Clear and Present Danger
are words that tend to cause
Imminent Lawless Action
- Freedom of Speech Abuses
is what ignorant scumbags want. They love to
of other people by
pretending not to be ignorant
themselves. Toxic Leadership
- Hate Crime
The Media Spreads Hate
without using vulgar words
do to it.
are written or spoken words intended to
from their target. Specific definitions, freedoms, and
limitations of fighting words vary by jurisdiction. The term fighting
words is also used in a general sense of words that when uttered tend to
create (deliberately or not) a verbal or physical confrontation by their
mere usage. Demagogue
rabble-rouser or a leader
hatred, and ignorance
the common people against
elites, whipping up the passions of the crowd and shutting down
Demagogue is a political leader
who seeks support by appealing to
of ordinary people, rather than by using rational
argument. Cult of
person who speaks with the intention of
inflaming the emotions
of a crowd of people, typically for political
delivers a loud, forceful or angry speech
is a loud overblown declamation expressed or addressed
forcefully with strong emotion.
"When you're bad and abusive, if
you don't hate what you have become, you will become what you hate, and by
then, it may be too late, to stop the hate that has become your fate."
Zone - He's Alive
episode four of the fourth season of
The Twilight Zone
. It tells of an American neo-Nazi who is visited by
the ghost of Adolf Hitler. Vollmer is periodically visited by a shadowy
figure who teaches him how to enthrall a crowd. The figure teaches Vollmer
how to speak, and pays Vollmer's rent at the hall where he holds rallies.
He also instructs Vollmer to arrange the death of one of his followers,
Nick, thereby creating a martyr to rally everyone around (a reference to
the 1930 murder of Horst Wessel, a low-ranking officer in the
Sturmabteilung). Following the figure's instructions and assistance,
Vollmer becomes considerably more successful and his group's following
grows. Ernst becomes fearful that Vollmer may actually succeed in igniting
another Holocaust. He disrupts a rally, accusing Vollmer of being "nothing
but a cheap copy" of the German Führer while Vollmer cowers before his
surrogate father. (aired January 24, 1963).
that is created from a lack of knowledge and information
and the world around you. Something that makes you
feel uncomfortable or irritates
does not need to be hated
Hatred will not help you
what the problem is.
only make things worse
. If you don't like something, or if something
is wrong or unjust
, hating it will not solve the problem. Only
If you are the one who creates
, then you can be the one who does not create hate. If hate starts
with you, then hate can end with you. There is no point in being your own
for Affirmative Action
is a community-based
in San Francisco. Our mission is to protect Chinese Americans.
Stop AAPI Hate
Our communities stand united against
against Asian American Pacific Islander communities has risen during the
Asian Pacific American
is a term sometimes used in the United States
to include both Asian Americans and Pacific Islander Americans. A person
with origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East, Southeast
Asia, South Asia, or the Pacific Islands. This area includes, for example,
China, Japan, Korea, Indonesia, the Philippines and Samoa; and in South
Asia, includes India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Singapore
and Bhutan. Asian/Pacific Islander (API) or Asian Americans and Pacific
Islanders (AAPI). Insult Comedy
should only be used by intelligent people making fun of morons, and not be
used by morons to make fun of intelligent people.
Hate is a Virus
a nonprofit community of mobilizers and amplifiers that exists to
people can hate other people for no reason, then people can
other people for no reason.
One of the main reasons why people hate other people,
is that they have never learned how to love
learned how to love themselves. Knowing how to
needs to be taught and learned. If
you never learn how to love, you might unknowingly learn how to hate in
order to fill the void
that was created from never learning how to love. If you can't empathize,
you can learn how to empathize
you are a psychopath, you can learn how
not to be a psychopath
. You're your own
is a saying that means that you are the cause of most of your problems,
and most of the bad things that happen to
you are because of your own thoughts
because of your own
Don't blame yourself or blame
else, just start learning more and educating yourself more.
Just because you don't like the
that does that mean that it's bad or harmful.
is a feeling of deep and bitter anger
is a feeling of deep and
is a state
of deep-seated ill-will
. An actively expressed feeling of dislike and
. The relation between opposing principles, forces or factors.
is the feeling of dissatisfaction
that follows the failure of expectations
or hopes to manifest. Similar to
differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the
choices that contributed to a poor outcome
, while a person feeling
disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of
psychological stress. The study of disappointment—its causes, impact, and
the degree to which individual decisions are motivated by a desire to
is to have a feeling of
aversion or antipathy
or someone. An inclination to
from some person or group.
is something enjoyable, agreeable or
valuable. Something that is the same
or similar kind.
is having a
or implies one has a distaste, disinclination, or aversion toward
something . Something one might refer to as an adversity or adversary.
is a feeling of intense dislike.
(transferring problems) - Estrangement
is to find
something repugnant or offensive to the mind
Fear is the
path to the dark side
… fear leads to anger … anger leads to hate …
hate leads to suffering.” — "Yoda in The Phantom Menace," 1999.
So what is hate
, say it again.
We need to cease fire hate and take a break from hate.
is a suspension or the temporary stoppage of fighting or
war, where each side agrees with the other to suspend aggressive actions,
usually done with the purpose of giving people the time needed to
is a state of
between opponents so they can discuss peace terms.
"I don't feel
bad that there are some people who hate my guts. I'm just glad that I am
so fortunate to have guts that people can hate. My only wish is that
someday they will have the guts to stop hating."
Do you have the guts
Revenge - Payback - Getting Even
is a harmful action
against a person or group in
response to a grievance
that is real or perceived. An action taken in
return for an injury
. A form of primitive
usually assumed to be
enacted in the absence of the norms of a
Revenge can be used to
right a wrong
by going outside of the law. This is because the individual
taking revenge feels as though the law
will not do justice
. Revenge is also known as payback, retribution,
, or vengeance. Revenge may be characterized as a form of justice
but not to be confused with retributive justice or an altruistic action
which enforces societal or moral justice aside from the legal system. Revenge
is a risk and is usually a waste of time because it can make things worse.
Revenge can easily spiral out of control
escalate into extremely bad behavior with people commiting evil
atrocities. Revenge means that both sides will suffer and both sides lose
something of value. Is there a
help us avoid a war?Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
- You Can't Fight Ignorance
with More Ignorance
- You can't fight
gun violence with more guns
An Eye for an Eye
leaves everyone blind
the other Cheek
refers to responding to injury without revenge and
allowing more injury.
- Crisis InterventionVengeance
act of taking revenge and harming someone in retaliation for something
that they have done.
is the action taken in return
for an injury or offense. Provoked
is feeling a need to see others suffer.
of yourself and
, but if you have not yet
learned what reality is, or learned how to control yourself, then you and
others will continue to be victims of
is a lot more productive with less crime
, waste and
is seen as
form of emotionally charged aggressive behavior. In everyday speech it is
more commonly used as a synonym for anger
is intense anger
intense anger and belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong. Crimes
- Death Penalty
is to be the source of pain. The act
or someone. Cause damage or affect negatively. Cause
or make miserable. Hurt the feelings of. Any
physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture
etc.. Psychological suffering. Feelings of mental or
is a civilian or organization acting in a law
enforcement capacity or in the pursuit of self-perceived justice without
legal authority. Vindictive
is the willingness to seek revenge or intended for revenge. Showing
malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite.
Action taken in return for an injury or offense. Take revenge
for a perceived wrong. Retaliate.
Make a counterattack and return like for like, especially
evil for evil
is a blood
in which the family of a murdered person
seeks vengeance on the murderer or the murderer's. A prolonged bitter
with or campaign against someone. A
feud in which members of the opposing parties murder each other.Payback
is to take
vengeance on or to get even with someone.
is to compensate
or make the score equal. To take revenge
or even out a score.Tit for Tat
the infliction of an injury or insult in return for one that one has
suffered. Equivalent retaliation to subsequently replicate an opponent's
previous action. If the opponent previously was cooperative, the agent is
cooperative. If not, the agent is not.
for an Eye
is the principle of reciprocal justice measure for measure.
The law of retaliation, bears the same principle that a person who has
injured another person is to be penalized to a
by the injured party. it means the victim receives
the [estimated] value of the injury in compensation. The intent behind the
principle was to restrict compensation to the value of the loss.
is a penal form of poetic justice which reflects the
nature or means of the crime in the means of (often physical) punishment
as a form of retributive justice—the practice of "repaying
a wrongdoer in kind
is a theory of punishment that when an offender
breaks the law, justice requires that they suffer in return, and that the
response to a crime is proportional to the offence
To give someone a
of their Own Medicine
means that someone should have the same
unpleasant experience that they themselves have given to someone else
as to show them how bad it is. To give
someone a taste of their own medicine is to
do the same bad thing to someone that they have often done to you, in
order to show them how unpleasant it is. Except that
two wrongs don't make a right
Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is a type of revenge. But
sometimes making people feel the pain that they caused is a form of
learning. But we know now that
and ineffective. Solving problems is about learning, not hurting.
Cutting off the Nose to Spite the Face
is an expression to describe a
needlessly self-destructive over-reaction
to a problem: "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face" is a warning
against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that
would damage oneself more than the object of one's anger.
- Know Thyself
- Anger Management
Don't Get Mad, Get Even
means that instead of wasting time and
energy getting angry or seeking revenge, you should
even the score
and a seek a
that stops the abuse
from repeating and also protects other people from being victims of this
type of abuse. Just stopping one person is not enough, you have to stop
other people from repeating this type of abuse. This sometimes means
changing a law
informing the public
is a justly
for one's actions. An
in which vice is punished and virtue rewarded, usually in a manner
peculiarly or ironically appropriate
. The difference between what might be
what actually occurs
literary device in which ultimately virtue is rewarded and viciousness is
punished. In modern literature, it is often accompanied by an
ironic twist of fate
related to the
character's own action.What Goes Around Comes Around
that when someone treats other people badly, he or she will eventually be
treated badly by someone else. You
reap what you sow
is when the intent
and actions of an individual
the future of that individual. Good intent and good deeds
contribute to good karma and happier rebirths, while bad intent and bad
deeds contribute to bad karma and bad rebirths.
Karma the spiritual principle
where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of
that individual (effect). Good intent and good deed contribute to good
karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to
bad karma and future suffering.
Hoobastank - The
(youtube - Released in
) - I'm not a perfect person, There's many thing
I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning
. I never meant to do those
things to you. And so I have to say before I go, That I just want you
to know, I've found a reason for me, To change who I used to be,
A reason to start over new, And the reason is you. I'm sorry
I hurt you, It's something I must live with everyday, And all the pain
I put you through, I wish I could take it all away, And be the one who
catches all your tears, That's why I need you to hear, I've found
a reason for me, To change who I used to be
, A reason to start over
new, And the reason is you, And the reason is you, And the
reason is you, And the reason is you. I'm not a
I never meant to do those things to you
. And so I have to say before I
go, That I just want you to know, I've found a reason for me, To
change who I used to be, A reason to start over new, And the reason is
you, I've found a reason to show, A side of me you didn't know,
A reason for all that I do, And the reason is you
What's Going On -
(youtube - Released
May 21, 1971
) - Mother, mother, There's too many of you crying,
Brother, brother, brother, There's far too many of you dying
, You know
we've got to find a way, To bring some lovin' here today, yeah,
Father, father, We don't need to escalate
, You see, war is not the
answer, For only love can conquer hate
, You know we've got to find a
way, To bring some lovin' here today, Picket lines and picket signs,
Don't punish me with brutality
, Talk to me, So you can see, Oh,
what's going on (What's going on), What's going on (What's going on
What's going on (What's going on) What's going on (What's going on)
Right on, baby, Right on, baby, Right on, Mother, mother,
Everybody thinks we're wrong, Oh, but
who are they to judge us
'cause our hair is long, Oh, you know we've got to find a way, To
bring some understanding here today, Picket lines and picket signs,
Don't punish me with brutality, Come on talk to me, So you can see,
What's going on (What's going on), Yeah, what's going on (What's going
on) Tell me what's going on (What's going on) I'll tell you, what's
going on (What's going on) Right on, baby, right on, Right on, baby,
Right on, baby, right on.