Relationships
Relationship is a state of
connectedness
between people.
A state involving
mutual
dealings between people or parties or countries.
A close
connection marked by
community of
interests or
similarity in nature or
character.
Relation is an
act of
narration and
the mutual dealings or connections among persons or groups.
Keeping in Touch -
Social Networks.

Friendships -
Family -
People Smart
-
Social Intelligence -
Human Values
Dating -
Questions -
Marriage -
Single Parents
Human Sexuality -
Platonic -
LoveSelf Smart
-
Introvert -
Body Language
Hate -
Anger -
Jealousy -
Praising -
Awarding -
Punishing -
Expectations -
Losing Touch
Questions to Ask when trying to know more about someone you're dating.
Interaction is a mutual or
reciprocal
actions, a kind of action that occurs as two or more
objects have an
effect upon one another. The idea of a two-way effect is essential in the
concept of interaction, as opposed to a one-way causal effect. A closely
related term is
interconnectivity, which deals with the
interactions of
interactions within systems. Combinations of many simple interactions can
lead to surprising
emergent phenomena.
Human Bonding is the
process of
development of a close,
interpersonal
relationship. It most commonly takes place between family members or
friends, but can also develop among groups, such as
sporting teams and
whenever people spend time together.
Bonding is a mutual,
interactive
process, and is different from simple liking. Bonding typically refers to
the process of attachment that develops between
romantic partners,
close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by
emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people who spend time
together may form a bond.
Male bonding refers to the establishment of
relationships between men through shared activities. The term
female
bonding refers to the formation of close personal relationships
between women.
Bond is a
connection based on
kinship,
marriage or common
interest. To create
social or
emotional ties. To bring
together in a
common cause or
emotion. The property of
sticking together like glue or the joining of surfaces of
different
composition. A
connection that fastens things together. An
electrical force linking atoms.
Working Together
-
Coexistence -
Feeling Connected -
Trust Worthy -
Unconditional -
Oxytocin -
Early Childhood -
Mother and Baby Bond
Social Bonds are related to health behaviors and positive well-being
globally. Being strongly bonded with both close circles and extended
groups predicted less anxiety and depression and better well-being,
particularly for those who were bonded with more groups. These findings
highlight that close and extended social bonds offer different sources of
support and direction during the most challenging of circumstances and
that continuous investment is needed to forge and maintain both.
Social Connection is the experience of
feeling close and
connected to
others. It involves feeling
loved,
cared for, and
valued, and forms the
basis of
interpersonal
relationships. Social
support is the
help,
advice,
and comfort that we receive from those with whom we have stable,
positive
relationships. Importantly, it appears to be the perception, or feeling,
of being supported, rather than objective number of connections, that
appears to buffer stress and affect our health and psychology most
strongly. Living together in the company of others and enjoying each
other’s company. Everyday experiences of
community cohesion and
togetherness in diverse settings; and the capacity of individuals to
interact creatively and autonomously with one another and their
environment for the satisfaction of their needs.
Lack of connection or
loneliness, has been
linked to inflammation, accelerated aging and cardiovascular health risk,
suicide, and all-cause mortality. "Connection is the energy that exists
between people when
they feel
seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without
judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the
relationship." —Brené Brown, Professor of social work at the University of
Houston.
How Strong Are the World's Social Connections? People’s interactions
with one another are fundamental to who humans are and nurture greater
physical and mental health. Connectedness is defined as how close a person
feels to people emotionally, including friends, family, coworkers,
neighbors, people from groups you are a part of and strangers.
95% of
Mongolians reported feeling very and fairly connected to other people.
Affiliation is the act of becoming
formally connected or
joined,
like with a social or
business relationship.
Kinship
is the
web of social relationships that form an important part of the
lives of most humans in most societies, although its exact meanings even
within this discipline are often debated.
Family Tree.
Emergence is a process whereby
larger entities, patterns, and
regularities arise
through interactions among smaller or simpler entities
that themselves do not exhibit such properties.
Transcendence.
Belonging - Acceptance - Recognition
Belonging is
happiness felt in a secure
relationship. Be a member or part of. Be in the right place or situation.
Be suitable or acceptable. Being
appreciated and
noticed.
Belongingness is the human emotional need to
be an accepted member of
a group. People tend to have an '
inherent' desire to belong and be an
important part of something greater than themselves. This implies a
relationship that is greater than simple
acquaintance or familiarity.
The
need to belong is the need to
give, and receive
attention to, and from,
others. Belonging is a strong and inevitable feeling that exists in human
nature. To belong or not to belong can occur due to
choices of one's self,
or the choices of others. Not everyone has the same life and interests,
hence not everyone belongs to the same thing or person. Without belonging,
one cannot identify themselves as clearly, thus having difficulties
communicating with and relating to their surroundings. You just don't want
to
conform to something until you
fully understand it.
And you don't want to ruin your chances to
work with other people who
can be a great benefit to you and to others. To belong is to be someone
that others would want to belong to. You have to be able to empathize and
sympathize with people. If you want to feel connected, you have to be
connected.
Listening is a
responsibility and
continually learning
is a
responsibility. Don't be
just a
pawn, be all the pieces at once.
Collective Identity is the shared sense of
belonging to a group.
Fitting In is to be accepted into a group
of people as a
member of that
group. It may also mean that
you
don't stand out from the
average behavior and
appearance of the group.
Avoiding isolation
and
alienation.
Codependency -
Empathy -
Listening
-
Attention -
Respect -
Attention -
Praise -
Reinforcement -
Dopamine -
Rejection -
Expectations -
Conformity -
Validation by
Proxy -
FOMO
-
Social Networks
Need for Affiliation describes a person's need to feel a sense of
involvement and "
belonging" within a social group.
To avoid
dissociation
or
isolation.
You should not need
validation from others to
feel good about
yourself. Feeling good about yourself is your responsibility. But getting
recognition from people you know is important, because they
are supposed
to recognize you, especially when you recognize them. But we cannot depend
on others to give
validation. Maybe other people have weird reasons why
they don't like to give validation. This could be determined by
having a real conversation
with that person. But if they have problems showing
appreciation, they
might also have a problem talking about it. So don't expect any miracles.
The most important thing that you can do is to
know yourself,
Know
your
worth, know your
potential, know your
good qualities, and know that
you
are the one who is ultimately responsible for
your well being and
your
happiness. No one has a right to
take you down or to
be mean to you or to
be disrespectable to you. No one has that right,
unless you give them that
right, which is not a good idea. Remember, you are in charge of your mind
and your heart, and you should not relinquish your power to anyone. Keep your
empathy strong, and
don't let
your ego become larger than yourself.
Do
you need
validation from
others in order to feel important and valuable?
No. But getting positive
feedback from other
people can help sometimes, just as
long as it's honest feedback. You should learn how to take the
criticism, because some of it may have some value. What's not acceptable, are
the
comments that have
no value or common sense, that mostly comes from people with a
false
sense of security. So why are you here if you're not accepted or
appreciated by others?
Because you are valuable and
you have potential
just like everyone else does, but that value and potential needs to be
recognized by you. So don't count on other peoples
opinions to determine your
value. Do you need
to
conform just to fit in?
No. To
be
yourself and to be
true to
yourself is just one part of
your development on
how to be an individual, and at the same time, be
socially intelligent.
Acceptance is the
act of accepting someone with
approval. Showing someone a favorable reception.
True Acceptance and Recognition comes from
within.
There is no opinion
more valuable than your own opinion of yourself. All the praise and
all the gratitude in the world is worthless if you have no
praise and
gratitude
towards yourself. If you allow others to control how
valuable you are, your value will
decrease and your value will become meaningless.
Recognition
is the
public
acknowledgement of a person's status or
merits, achievements, virtues
or service. The state or quality of being recognized or
acknowledged. The process of recognizing something or someone by
remembering. Acknowledgement,
praise or
respect
for something, e.g. having a quality, producing something, doing
something, etc. An acceptance (as of a claim) as true and valid.
Don't
expect to be loved by someone
or
to be loved by other people.
Your admiration and respect for others is not about
getting the same
admiration and respect in return. Your conditions or
expectations should never be
selfish. Having
unconditional love for someone or
unconditional dislike of
someone is something that many people don't fully understand, and the
reasons why someone likes or dislikes something or someone is rarely
understood. To
Explain Thyself is
to truly
Know Thyself.
Platonic Love is a type of
love that is
non-sexual. The term
is named after Plato, who described a kind of
love centered on
same-gender
relations and included sex which underwent a transformation during
Renaissance (15th–16th centuries) to get its contemporary sense of asexual
heterosexual love.
Abstinence -
Fake Love.
Intimate is a relationship marked by close acquaintance,
association, or familiarity. Having or fostering a warm or friendly and
informal atmosphere. Having mutual interests or affections and an
established friendship. Thoroughly acquainted through study or experience.
Someone to whom private matters are confided in. Intimate can also mean
being involved in a
sexual relationship.
Social interactions tied to sense of purpose. Research uncovers yet
another benefit of having positive interactions with others. Research in
psychological and brain sciences shows a link in older adults between
social interactions and having a
sense
of purpose.
Relationship Maintenance, accurate perception of partner's behavior is
key. Married couples and long-term romantic partners typically engage in a
variety of behaviors that sustain and nourish the relationship. These
actions promote higher levels of commitment, which benefits couples'
physical and psychological health. Five main categories were measured,
positivity, openness, assurances, use of social networks, and sharing
tasks.
Relationships can get weird at times. When someone acts weird, and
when they don't explain why they were acting weird, then you will have no
idea what that person was thinking or know the reasoning that was behind
the weird behavior. If you never have a
real conversation with someone,
then the relationship will always be a little weird, especially if neither
person is working on any type of personal development or educating
themselves on a regular basis. With relationships
you need to
deliberately work on the relationship and purposely find
better ways to
communicate. This needs time and effort. If you never take the time
and effort, your relationships will never improve on their own. You both
need to
commit to learning, and not just learn from each other, but
learning as mush as you can about human development as well as the
world around you. This takes time and effort. You need to fully understand
the importance of this
responsibility that we call learning. To under estimate the importance
of
learning, is to deny yourself of a life worth living.
Does Anyone Really Know Anyone?
Many people have very close relationships with other people, but they
might not
truly know that
person. Some people don't even try to know someone personally on a personal level. Some people don't know how to be a close
friend, and other people just don't want to be close to anyone. There is a
big difference between protecting your
privacy and being
isolated.
Don't
expect things.
It takes a
lot of time and many personal conversations in order to know someone.
Boundaries -
Personal Space -
Losing TouchSome people that are
close to you can be
abusive
or
insensitive sometimes. So you have to protect your heart. No one has
the right to emotionally
disrespect you or
break your heart.
Don't
take things personally or
take something to the heart. Listen to someone
and don't get emotionally upset, because that would be a
distraction and
also cause
confusion on your part.
Focus on the
message and
reply
respectfully. You can still
care about someone even when you are not
emotionally attached to them anymore. Some people can be
anti-social and
still want
attention and
friendship, and
navigating
through that
contradiction can be difficult, but not impossible.
You can't have it both ways or
you can't
have the cake and eat it too, or
expect things. And remember, some people enjoy being
as*holes and being disrespectable to other people.
Misery Loves Company is a saying that means that people who are
suffering are comforted by the knowledge that other people are also
suffering, even if they are the source of the suffering and causing the
unhappiness. If
someone is miserable, they sometimes like others to be miserable too, so that they
can
feel better about
themselves.
One-Way Street in a
relationship means that only one of the sides in the agreement or the
relationship is offering something or is benefitting from it. For some,
loyalty is a one-way street; something you demand but do not give. You
can't
expect more from other people than you expect
from yourself. To tell people to do as I say and not as I do is being a
hypocrite and a
bigot. You should fix yourself
first, and
check yourself
before you wreck yourself, or before you
wreck other people.
Attachment in Adults can be applied to adult relationships including
friendships, emotional affairs, adult romantic or platonic relationships
and in some cases relationships with inanimate objects ("transitional
objects"). Four main styles of attachment have been identified in adults:
Secure attachment style is demonstrated by
those possessing a
positive view of self
and a positive view of others.
Anxious-preoccupied
attachment style is demonstrated by those possessing a
negative view of self and a positive view
of others.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment
style is demonstrated by those possessing a
positive view of self and a negative view of others.
Fearful-avoidant attachment style is
demonstrated by those possessing an unstable
fluctuating/confused view of self and others. People with losses or
other trauma, such as sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence may often
develop this type of attachment. Relationships between adults differ in
many ways from
relationships
between children and caregivers. The claim is not that these two kinds
of relationships are identical. The claim is that the core principles of
attachment theory apply to both kinds of relationships. Investigators tend
to describe the core principles of attachment theory in light of their own
theoretical interests. The emotional and behavioral dynamics of
infant–caregiver relationships and adult relationships are governed by the
same biological system. The kinds of individual differences observed in
infant–caregiver relationships are similar to the ones observed in various
close adult relationships. Individual differences in adult attachment
behavior are reflections of the
expectations and
beliefs people have formed about themselves and their close relationships
on the basis of their attachment histories; these "working models" are
relatively stable and, as such, may be reflections of early caregiving
experiences. Romantic love, as commonly conceived, involves the interplay
of attachment, caregiving and intimacy. Compare this with the five "core
propositions" of attachment theory listed by Rholes and Simpson: Although
the basic impetus for the formation of attachment relationships is
provided by biological factors, the bonds that children form with their
caregivers are shaped by interpersonal experience. Experiences in earlier
relationships create internal working models and attachment styles that
systematically affect attachment relationships. The attachment
orientations of adult caregivers influence the attachment bond their
children have with them. Working models and attachment orientations are
relatively stable over time, but they are not impervious to change. Some
forms of psychological maladjustment and clinical disorders are
attributable in part to the effects of insecure working models and
attachment styles. While these two lists clearly reflect the theoretical
interests of the investigators who created them, a closer look reveals a
number of shared themes. The shared themes claim that: People are
biologically driven to form attachments with others, but the process of
forming attachments is influenced by learning experiences. Individuals
form different kinds of attachments depending on the expectations and
beliefs they have about their relationships. These expectations and
beliefs constitute internal "working models" used to guide relationship
behaviors. Internal "working models" are relatively stable even though
they can be influenced by experience. Individual differences in attachment
can contribute positively or negatively to mental health and to the
quality of relationships with others. No doubt these themes could be
described in a variety of ways (and other themes added to the list).
Regardless of how one describes the core principles of attachment theory,
the key insight is that the same principles of attachment apply to close
relationships throughout the lifespan. The principles of attachment
between children and caregivers are fundamentally the same as the
principles of attachment between adults.
Attachment Theory.
Friendship - The Importance of Friendships
Friendship is a
relationship of mutual affection between
people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than just an
association. Friendship characteristics include
affection;
kindness, love, virtue,
sympathy, empathy,
honesty, altruism, loyalty, generosity, forgiveness,
mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company,
trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings to others,
and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. Friendship is
an essential aspect of relationship building skills. One of the greatest benefits of a
friendship is that you get to
be yourself, and
also say things and do things that
you normally wouldn’t do. In a way you’re clarifying who you
are. And you’re not just revealing your true self to your friends,
but also defining who you are to yourself. This is where a person can find
acceptance, and not just acceptance with others, but acceptance with themselves.
Good friendships are sanctuaries that are
filled with therapeutic communication and wonderful memories.
But friendships can also be incredibly devastating when a
friendship falls apart. And you’re not just losing a friend, but also losing a part of
yourself. Friendships offer us a type of sharing that is our
connection, connecting our inner world with the outer world.
Everyone needs a friend, but not all friendships are healthy. So
choose your friends wisely and share your time accordingly. And
remember the most important friendship in your life is the
friendship that you have with
yourself. Because when there is no
one there to talk to, you better be a best friend to yourself,
because if you’re not, you will lose the only true friend that
you will ever have.
Social Networks -
Dunbar's
Number -
Internet -
Losing Touch"A friendship is like having a type
of
insurance. It's knowing that someone will be there for you when you
need them. But making an
insurance
claim can sometimes be as difficult as making a friendship claim."
With having a lot of friends you can
never be prepared enough for
when a friendship takes a turn for
the worse and your friends
mistakes becomes your
mistakes. And
not only does a friendship go sour, but you're left picking up
the pieces and forced to perform damage control in order to
protect your
reputation. Don't bother playing
the
blame game, it's best that you learn what you can from the
experience and apply that knowledge to future events so that you
can avoid repeating your mistakes, even if those mistakes are
someone else's.
Fake Friends -
Two Faced -
ScammersBad
Weather Friend is a friend who is always there for you in times of
need and hardship. They offer support, guidance, and a shoulder to cry on.
It's the friend you call when life gives you lemons. The friend you
message when you're broken-hearted, hurting, in need of some kind.
Be generous with your friends and
share your time, attention or resources. Communicating love and
appreciation is an easy way to nurture your friendships. Tell friends how
much they mean to you and remind them that you're grateful to know them,
and that it's safe to be open with their feelings and that your trust is
assured.
Guys calling their friends and telling them 'I love you'. (youtube) -
Dose of Society.
Interpersonal Relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or
acquaintance between
two or more people that may range in duration from
brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love,
solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social
commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of
social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or
kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work,
clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law,
custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.
So what defines a 'Friend' ? What does it mean to really know someone?
-
Types of Friends -
Guardian Angles.
Friend is a person that you have
known personally for some time and like to spend time with. A friend is
someone who you can
trust and
feel comfortable with. A friend is a
person you know well and regard with affection and trust. A friend is someone close to you
that you can
share feelings with or opinions with,
and someone who provides
cooperation or
assistance when needed. A friend is a
person who is
loyal and faithful who you
have confidence in. A friend
is someone who enjoys your company and
always wishes the best for you. A friend is a person who helps to reduce the
intensity of fears and helps you to be calm.
A friend is
a person
attached to another by feelings of
affection or
personal
regard, or having affection and a positive feeling of liking. A
friendship is having
commitment and binding yourself intellectually or
emotionally to someone, and giving
promise to someone and
give grounds for expectations by agreeing to do or not to do
something in the future. A friendship is having
closeness
to someone and having personal knowledge or information about
someone but not necessarily knowing everything about someone. A friend is
a person who is on good terms with
another and a person who is not hostile. A friendship is the feeling of being intimate and belonging together
and having
dependability, availability, reliability, durability, safety, security
and
honesty.
Befriend is to become friends with someone.
To be-a-friend.
Consoling is to give moral or
emotional strength to. Affording
comfort
or solace.
Best Friend is saying to someone that their
friendship is extremely important, which says that you have measured that
persons qualities and their abilities as well as their friendship and have
determined that they are very important to you and also valuable as a
person, and not just valuable as a friend. Your Best Friend is not your
only friend, just
the person who
listens to you more and that you listen to them more
intently.
Kindred Spirit is a person whose interests
or attitudes are similar to one's own.
Homie is a close friend from your
town or neighborhood, or a member of a peer group or gang. Homie or omie
is a shortened version of homeboy, which means a close friend.
Omie is an absolutely stunning person, who
is kind, funny, and caring. An Omi is one the most cool or awesome people
you will ever meet. They are loyal to their friends and family in all
situations.
Psychic Link -
Beautiful Souls -
Empathy -
Sensate
Buddy System
is a procedure in which two people, the "
buddies", operate together as a
single unit so that they are able to monitor and help each other.
"
Keep your friends close and
your enemies closer" is a phrase that means that you should never
underestimate your enemies or underappreciate your friends. Be aware of
your enemies and keep a close eye on your enemies and know their
intentions and stay on top of what the enemy is doing. Don't ignore
possible threats and don't let your guard down. Be cautious of your enemy
and be alert of your surroundings. Watch your back and stay on your toes.
And remember,
an enemy may be a
friend, so know who you can trust.
“A good friend listens to your adventures. Your best
friend makes them with you.” – Unknown
“A journey becomes even more
beautiful when you can share it.” – Unknown
“May your adventures
bring you closer together, even as they take you far away from home.” –
Trenton Lee Stewart
“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s
hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another
to take yours.” – Vera Nazarian
Friendsgiving is a
Thanksgiving
dinner celebration with one's friends, as opposed to one's family.
This usually occurs on the Wednesday before or the Friday after
Thanksgiving Day.
Copy-Cat study explores conformity in children with few friends.
Children with few friends protect these friendships through
conformity. Results showed that
partners with fewer friends were influenced by children with more friends.
In each case, the partner with fewer friends became more similar to the
partner with more friends. Academic engagement was the only domain where
partners with fewer friends also influenced partners with more friends.
Peer influence is pervasive during childhood and adolescence. Conformity
can foster similarity, which makes it easier to get along and reduces the
risk that disagreements over dissimilarities will rupture a friendship.
Seen in this light,
conformity is
an effective strategy for appeasing friends and maintaining the
potentially hard to replace benefits the friendship provides.
Types of Friends
Each kind of friend has its own level of
closeness and
trustworthiness.
Best Friend, Good Friend, Old Friend, Girlfriend, Boyfriend,
Family Friend, Work Friend, Associate,
School Friend, Classmate, Buddy, Sports Friend, Religious
Friend, Church Friend,
Internet Friend,
Childhood Friend, Neighborhood Friend, Roommate, Fellow
Traveler,
Kinship, Comrade,
Crony, Confidant, Backer, Advocate, Ally, Confrere, Compatriot,
Colleague, Acquaintance.
Chum is a close friend who accompanies his buddies in their
activities. The people you hang out with to unwind. These might
be family members or personal friends with whom you can sit out on the
deck with and talk about anything, with the confidence to know that
nothing you say will be held against you.
Fan is an ardent follower and admirer; Patron, Supporter,
Political Friend.
Admirer is a person who
admires; someone who esteems or
respects or approves.
Blood Brother is a male with the
same parents as someone else, A male sworn to treat another as his
brother, sometimes by a ceremony involving the mingling of blood.
Brotherhood -
Fraternity -
Family
Fraternization is turning people into brothers by conducting
social relations with
people as if they were siblings, family members, personal friends, or
lovers. To fraternize also means to become allies with someone who are
either unrelated or of a different class or an enemy.
Alliance is a relationship among people, groups, or states that have
joined together for mutual
benefit or to achieve some common purpose, whether or not explicit
agreement has been worked out among them. Members of an alliance are
called
allies.
Camaraderie is mutual trust
and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.
Comrade is a friend who is frequently
in the company of another. Used as a term of address for those male
persons engaged in the same movement.
Amigo
is a friend or comrade.
Sisterhood is an association, society,
or a community of women linked by a common interest, religion, or trade.
Sisterhood is the solidarity between women in the context of sexual
discrimination. A religious society of women who live together as sisters,
especially an order of nuns. Sisterhood is the kinship relation
between a female offspring and the siblings. The relationship between
sisters and the quality of being sisterly.
Sweet Potato
Queens involves a belief in a sisterhood that promotes self-esteem and
positive thinking, appealing to mostly middle-aged middle-class women.
Brotherhood.
Fellowship is a friendly
association of people who share common beliefs, activities or interests.
The state of being with someone. Fellowship can also mean money granted by
a university or foundation or other agency for advanced study or research.
The status of a fellow of a college or society.
Familiarity is personal
knowledge or information about someone or something. Close or
warm friendship.
Social Relation is any relationship between
two or more
individuals.
Sociability is the relative
tendency or disposition to be sociable or associate with one's
fellows.
Sidekick
is a close companion or colleague (not necessarily in fiction) who is, or
generally regarded as, subordinate to the one he or she accompanies. Some
well-known fictional sidekicks are Don Quixote's Sancho Panza, Sherlock
Holmes' Doctor Watson, The Lone Ranger's Tonto, The Green Hornet's Kato,
Shrek's Donkey, Sonic's Tails and Batman's Robin.
Good Company is someone
who people enjoy spending time with. An easy going person who is down to
earth and is easy to get along with because they have no serious hang-ups
or issues.
Confidant
someone who you can confide in and
trust. Confidants are your inner
circle of individuals that provide guidance and support.
Colleagues are the
people you work with on
a daily basis and get stuff done together.
Working
Together.
Counterparts are similarly
situated peers. You are in the same orbit.
Contacts are your
social
network connections list. These are people you know, do not see
consistently, but you know them well enough to work together or ask for
help or information when needed.
Contact is
a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is
linked or associated with
something else. A
supplier.
I seem to have
more acquaintances than friends, so what's the difference?
Acquaintance is a state of being acquainted with
more than just a slight or
superficial knowledge about someone.
Being Familiar with someone as a
result of
continued meetings, as in old companions.
Mutual communication and
sharing thoughts and feelings. Being
comfortable with the interchange of
thought, but not having 100 percent trust in that person or being totally
open and honest.
Familiarity and intimacy mark
different degrees of closeness in
social intercourse. What you perceive may affect your
awareness.
"Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them."
High Maintenance Person
is someone who has more needs and
more demands and therefore is more
challenging and
more difficult to manage. Usually has a greater
requirement for affection and
attention and has higher than normal
expectations.
Could be finicky and wants things their way. A little more on the
selfish side and a little
more
stubborn then most
people.
Low Maintenance Person is
someone who requires very little time, money, or effort to look after
them. You don't need to call them every day and know what they're up to.
Body Image.
You have to be able to recognize your best friend in a
crowd of people, because there are millions of people on the
internet who want to be your
friend, and if you can't tell who your friend is in a crowd, then you can
be vulnerable to manipulation by people pretending to be your friend. So
having a best friend is a big responsibility. And you have to remember,
your intelligent friend can't do everything for you, but if you can
continually educate yourself, then you can easily work better together as
a team, and also, work independently on your own. A friendship grows
stronger when both friends can grow strong independently of each other.
You're stronger together, but you will not be weak or stop being strong
just because your best friend is not there. You're my best friend because
I know you can live without me. We are not dependent on each other, we're
just stronger together and more versatile when we are together. I may live
without you, but I will never forget you. So where ever you go, I will
find you. That is what friends are for.
Roommate is a person with whom one
shares a living facility such as a room or dormitory except when being
family or romantically involved. Similar terms include dormmate,
suitemate, housemate, or flatmate. Another similar term is sharemate (
shared
living spaces are often called
sharehouses in Australia and other Commonwealth countries). A
sharehome is a model
of household in which a group of usually unrelated people reside together.
The term generally applies to people living together in rental properties
rather than in properties in which any resident is an owner occupier. The
most common reason for
sharing housing is to reduce the
cost of housing.
Co-Living is a
residential community living model
that accommodates three or more biologically unrelated people living in
the same dwelling unit.
Aging in
Place -
Elderly Housing.
Household consists of two or more persons who live in the same
dwelling. It may be of a single family or another type of person group
Neighbor is a person who
lives close by to you or is
located near another, sometimes in a place
called the
neighborhood.
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a
neighbor, Would you be mine? Could you be mine? It's a neighborly day
in this beautywood, A neighborly day for a beauty, Would you be mine?
Could you be mine? I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like
you, I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you. So let's
make the most of this beautiful day, Since we're together, we might as
well say, Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my
neighbor? Won't you please, won't you please, Please won't you be my
neighbor? -
Mr. Rogers It's a Beautiful Day in This Neighborhood (youtube)
Fred Rogers Accepts
the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 24th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards in
1997. (youtube) - "So many people have helped me to come here to this
night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in
Heaven.
All of us have special ones
who loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, 10
seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are,
those who cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. 10
seconds, I'll watch the time. Whomever you've been thinking about, how
pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they have made. You
know they're kind of people television does well to offer our world.
Special thanks to my family, my friends, and my co-workers in Public
Broadcasting and Family Communications, and to this Academy for
encouraging me, allowing me, all these years to be your neighbor. May God
be with you. Thank you very much."....Throughout his career Fred Rogers,
both on television and off, emphasized the importance of creating a
peaceful environment, and world where all children could grow and learn.
"Our goal as a nation must be to make sure that no child is denied the
chance to grow in knowledge and character from their very first years,"
Rogers said at a White House gathering for Early Childhood Initiative, a
program for promoting literacy. "In Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, every
child is welcome into the world of learning -- not just a few, not just
ones from certain neighborhoods, but every child." Rogers was the
recipient of two Peabody Awards, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the
nation's highest civilian award, and four Emmy Awards, including the
Lifetime Achievement Award, which was bestowed to him in 1997. Rogers,
known for always taking the time to remember, reminded the audience that
night that thoughtful expression should be followed by thoughtful
reflection.
Friends with Knowledge - Life Skills
Everyone should have most of these particular skills below, if
not, you should at least know some people who could provide
these skills for you. These are the skills that every
parent should have. That's why
parenting is called a Big
Responsibility.
How to Be a Good Host - Being there for someone is actually
physically being there.
Empathy -
Sympathy -
Qualities and Skills of a Worker
-
Professional -
Career
It's a good idea to have good relationships with people and
create strong bonds and friendships. You should know certain
people, especially people who have knowledge and skills about
society and survival. People who can see things more clearly than
others, people who can make good decisions and people who can
analyze situations more accurately then most people do. People
you can trust. That is what a
community should be like, an
extension of your family. And this is also how a strong and
vibrant
society should be created. From there it's all about
educating the young so they can continue to make progress,
continue to make improvements, and continue to preserve the
quality of life for everyone, and for future generations. So
every new generation should be more educated then the previous
generation. But lately this is not happening fast enough for any
type of
Singularitarianism to happen. Many improvements in education
will be needed in order to reach our goals and to ultimately reach our full potential.
Keeping in Touch
Keep in Touch is when two or
more people
communicate on a regular
basis and keep each other up-to-date on changes and experiences that are
important to share or just to talk about. When someone says "
let's stay
close, or
let's stay connected, or
let's stay in touch", this is indicating
that the person wants to keep communicating with you in order to stay
close to you or to get to know you better. Spending too much time away
from someone can cause you to feel like
you don't know that person well
enough anymore
in the same way that you did before when you spent more time together.
Most people can change over time, and some changes can be big while
other changes may not matter.
But even when two people spend lots of time together, they may never truly
know each other on a personal level because they never really had any
meaningful conversations. But
opening up to someone can be
complicated, especially when there's
not enough trust between two
people.
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or, losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Rejection
-
Personal Boundaries -
I need a little Space
-
Being Yourself
Life can be really busy and complicated at times, so it's easy to lose sight
of people and things. I want to keep in touch with people, but at
the same time, I don't want to lose sight of what I'm doing. I
have a
variety of
interests and
life
is full of changes, so sometimes friendships get misplaced
during those changes. It's not the quantity of time that you get
to spend with your friends, it's the quality of time that's
important, which is so true and not just some lame excuse for
not calling your friends.
Losing touch is not that bad as long as you don't lose touch
with yourself. Just to let you know..
I'll
Be Around - The Spinners (youtube) - Whenever you call me, I'll be
there, Whenever you want me, I'll be there, Whenever you need me, I'll be
there, I'll be around.
It's hard for me to
keep in touch when I'm always exploring. I don't forget my friends.
Even though I'm busy forming new memories and making new friends, I'm
still
holding on to the old memories
that I have gained in the past. So I did not forget you, I do remember
you, and I still have a lot of good memories of you. It's just that now I
have a lot of new memories to share with you, and I'm sure you do too.
I find it easy to
make friends, but I'm not so good at
maintaining friendships. This is not about
relationship ghosting
or flaking or giving someone the
silent treatment, it's just
that I had ineffective communication skills. I also like to keep
moving forward and developing. And if you are not moving forward with me
and developing at the same rate as me, or in similar ways that I am, we
can easily drift apart and lose sight of each other. This does not mean
that I stop being a friend, it just means that I have moved on and changed
my focus. I am an explorer, and I love to explore life physically and
mentally. So there are many reasons a person can lose contact with someone, but which
reasons are relevant and which reasons can be easily corrected?
And how many real friendships can you realistically maintain
without being
superficial?
And this is not about counting social network friends like on
Facebook, because the people with the least amount of
friends on Facebook can actually be a better friend than someone
who has several hundred friends on Facebook. So I wouldn't use a
social network as some kind of an indicator of someone's character. A
higher amount of friends does not always equate to a higher
level of trustworthiness or friendliness. So what other factors
are needed in determining how trusting and how honest someone
is? Could you design a
rating system, or could
you just
ask the right questions.
If there's one
thing I'm good at, it's losing touch with people. I call it
Call
Back Disorder. When two people don't communicate with each
other, then they lose touch. But it only takes one person to
call, and if you're not the one who calls, then losing touch is
easy.
If you want to keep in touch with me you got to be the one who
maintains the friendship and calls. That's why I like my friends
to be maintenance free, but that never happens. Because everyone
needs maintenance, even me. But I'm improving, except for that
phone thing. You would think that I would have mastered the
phone by now? "I was busy"
Because I lost touch with so many friends,
Funerals have become the new social
gathering. Funerals is where I get to see people that I have not seen
in a long time and have lost contact with. Why do we pay more respect to
the dead than we do the living. We should respect the living in the same
way that we show our respect for the dead. Why wait for someone to die to
say how much their life has meant to you.
Why would you
stop being friends just because a lot of time has passed? Even
when a loved one dies I am still their friend, even knowing that
I may never see them again. But if I did see them in heaven, I'm
not going to say, "Hey! Why didn't you call me?"
I would rather say, "It's good to see you again."
"I have always found
it easy to make new friends, but
I always found it difficult to
keep in touch. My mind is always wondering. There's nothing
wrong with my attention span, it's just natural to keep moving.
Humans are born to move, born to discover. And that's why humans
are all over the planet, and that's why humans are in space. We
keep moving, to learn, to know, to live. So if I don't call you,
don't worry, I'm just occupied with discovering, like millions
of humans have done for the last 500,000 years or so."
It's hard keep
all our relationships active. I like to think that we are
probably thinking pretty much the same things and living through
similar situations, because we all live on the same planet. So I
will catch up with you when I see you.
"Even though we may never see
each other again, I know in my heart we will always be friends."
"Good Friends are
like Stars, you might not always see them but you know they're
always there."
"What is time
between friends? People change, you change, the world changes.
But does that mean the friendship has to change?
It only takes a
little time to catch up, so if the friendship matters, then
catching up will be fun."
Young women were most likely to
report losing touch with friends during the pandemic.
A lot of the friends I had were just
looking for someone to do crazy stuff with, and of course I was
always a willing participant, as well as an instigator, because
with my imagination I was always coming up with crazy things to
do. But I was extremely lucky to have some friends who had their
limits, friends who knew when to say no, and friends who were more
aware then I was, which was a good thing because I was stupid
enough to do or try almost anything. So having friends with
limits definitely helps, they help keep you out of trouble and
make you a little more aware of common sense, but not always of
course, sometimes
stupidity finds a way.
Live and Learn (mistakes)
"I'm the kind of
person who hangs around you for a while and then disappears. I absorb
what ever information that you have from the experiences we
share and then I'm off, but that's not with
everyone. There are some people you have to stay connected to."
"As we grow up, we
realize that it becomes
less important to have a
lot of friends and more
important to have at least one or two real friends."
"Making a hundred
friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend
who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you."
Having friends is like having
witnesses to moments in your life.
Christmas cards are a great way to say
hello once a year. It's a lazy mans way of keeping in touch with
people you hardly speak to.
Thank you fake Jesus for making me honest. Sometimes a fantasy is the only
thing you got to keep you in touch with reality,
a reality that you are mostly out of
touch with.
"I feel that some friendships are not
even a choice. Some people just tend to gravitate towards one
another like some kind of
cosmic attraction, which is part
curiosity, part
biological and part
symbiotic
mutual agreement, none of which neither is aware of."
Time to Yourself is important buts
it's not always beneficial. There's a time you need to be
alone with yourself and
then there are times that you need to venture out and
communicate.
Songs about Friendship - Friends Songs
BEN - Michael Jackson (youtube)
- Ben, the two of us need look no more, We both found what we were looking
for, With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone, and you, my
friend, will see, You've got a friend in me.
Umbrella:
Rihanna (youtube) - When the sun shines, we'll shine together, Told you I'd be
here forever, Said I'll always be a friend, Took an oath, I'ma stick it
out 'til the end. Come here to me, under my umbrella.
You're My Best
Friend - Queen (youtube) - Ooh, you make me live, Whatever this world
can give to me, It's you you're all I see, Ooh, you make me live now,
honey, Ooh, you make me live, Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had,
I've been with you such a long time, You're my sunshine and I want you to
know, That my feelings are true, I really love you, Oh, you're my best
friend.
I'll Be There - The
Jackson 5 (youtube) - You and I must make a pact, We must bring
salvation back, Where there is love, I'll be there (I'll be there), I'll
reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do, Just call my name
and I'll be there (I'll be there), And oh, I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you, I'll be
there with a love that's strong, I'll be your strength, I'll keep holdin'
on (holdin' on), Yes I will, yes I will.
Lean On Me - Bill
Withers (youtube) - Lean on me, when you're not strong, And I'll be
your friend, I'll help you carry on, For it won't be long, 'Til I'm gonna
need, Somebody to lean on.
That's What Friends
Are For - Dionne Warwick (youtube)
You've Got A Friend
In Me - Randy Newman (youtube)
With A Little Help
From My Friends - The Beatles (youtube)
I’ll Be There For
You - The Rembrandts (youtube)
Count On Me - Bruno
Mars (youtube)
Wind Beneath My
Wings - Bette Midler (youtube)
Anytime You Need A
Friend - Mariah Carey (youtube)
I’ll Stand By You -
The Pretenders (youtube)
Highasakite - Since Last Wednesday (youtube)
Graduation (Friends
Forever) -Vitamin C (youtube)
Best Friend -Harry
Nilsson (youtube)
Wannabe -The Spice Girls (youtube)
Thank You For Being
A Friend - Andrew Gold (youtube)
Gone, Gone, Gone -
Phillip Phillips (youtube)
Lou Reed - Perfect
Day (youtube)
In My Life - The
Beatles (youtube)
We're Going To Be
Friends - The White Stripes 2002 (youtube) - Fall is here, hear the
yell, Back to school, ring the bell, Brand new shoes, walking blues,
Climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
I can tell that we are gonna be friends, Walk with me, Suzy Lee,
Through the park and by the tree, We will rest upon the ground, And
look at all the bugs we found, Safely walk to school without a sound,
Safely walk to school without a sound, Here we are, no one else, We
walked to school all by ourselves, There's dirt on our uniforms, From
chasing all the ants and worms, We clean up and now it's time to learn,
We clean up and now it's time to learn, Numbers, letters, learn to spell,
Nouns, and books, and show and tell, Playtime we will throw the ball,
Back to class, through the hall, Teacher marks our height against the
wall, Teacher marks our height against the wall, We don't notice any
time pass, We don't notice anything, We sit side by side in every
class, Teacher thinks that I sound funny, But she likes the way you
sing, Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed, When silly thoughts go
through my head, About the bugs and alphabet, And when I wake tomorrow
I'll bet That you and I will walk together again, I can tell that we
are gonna be friends, Yes I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Steady As She Goes
- The Raconteurs (youtube) - You've found yourself a friend, That
knows you well, But no matter what you do, You'll always feel as though
you Tripped and fell. So steady as she goes, When you have completed what
you thought you had to do, And your blood's depleted to the point of
stable glue, Then you'll get along, Then you'll get along, Steady as she
goes. Are you steady now? Steady as she goes.
Best Friend - Harry
Nilsson (youtube) - People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
He's a warm hearted person who'll love me 'til the
end, People let me tell you bout my best friend, He’s a one boy
cuddly toy — my up, my down, my pride and joy. People let me tell you
’bout him — he’s so much fun, Whether we’re talkin’ man to man or whether
we’re talking son to son. ‘Cause he’s my best friend.
The Courtship of Eddi's Father (wiki).
Love Songs -
Relationship Songs"Sometimes you choose your friends and sometimes friends choose you. But what ever the case may be, the
importance of those friendships will always be surprising."
Friends.
"Some friendships are created from common interests, and when those interests
change, sometimes the friendship changes too."
"A friend is someone who does things that count, but
does not stop to count them."
"Anyone can be that
someone, that someone that you should listen to, that person who
needs you."
"A friend is someone
who appreciates your jokes, and most of the time, understands
your jokes."
One of the benefits of having a friend is
that a friend can tell you something about yourself that you
never noticed before. But sometimes the truth hurts, but if you
can learn from it, and better yourself, then the criticism, or
the friendly observation, will be well worth the pain. Besides,
the most important revelations will always have some kind of
discomfort or sadness about them.
Family - Relatives - Related
Family are people
descended from a common
ancestor. A social unit living
together. A person having
kinship with another or others.
Family is a
group of people
related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or
affinity (by
marriage or other relationship). The
purpose of families is to maintain the well-being of its members and of
society. Ideally, families would offer predictability, structure, and
safety as members mature and participate in the
community. In most
societies, it is within families that
children acquire socialization for
life outside the family, and acts as the primary source of attachment,
nurturing, and socialization for humans. Additionally, as the basic unit
for meeting the basic needs of its members, it provides a sense of
boundaries for performing tasks in a safe environment, ideally builds a
person into a functional adult, transmits culture, and ensures continuity
of humankind with precedents of knowledge.
We Are Family - Sister Sledge (youtube)
Family Relatives Include Brother, Sister,
Mother,
Father,
Parent, Wife, Husband, Child, Step Child, Niece,
Nephew, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Grandparent, Great Grandparent, In-Laws,
Sibling,
Step Relative, Distant Relative.
Genealogy -
Heredity -
Senior Citizen Stories
Immediate Family
is a defined group of relations, used in rules or laws to determine which
members of a person's family are affected by those rules. It normally
includes a person's parents, spouses, siblings, children. It can contain
others connected by birth, adoption, marriage, civil partnership, or
cohabitation, such as grandparents, great-grandparents, grandchildren,
great-grandchildren, aunts, uncles, siblings-in-law, half-siblings,
cousin, adopted children and step-parents/step-children, and cohabiting
partners.
Relative is a person related by
blood or
marriage.
Nuclear Family
is a family group consisting of a pair of an adult
woman and a man and
their children, either one or more, considering a time after the pair
engagement, different than Family-in-law. It is in contrast to a
single-parent family, to the larger extended family, and to a family with
more than two parents. (what makes a perfect family or a
perfect parent?)
Consanguinity is the property of being from the same kinship as
another person. In that aspect, consanguinity is the quality of being
descended from the same ancestor as another person.
Extended Family
is a family that extends beyond the nuclear family, consisting of parents,
aunts, uncles, and cousins, all living nearby or in the same household.
"Treat your family like friends and your friends like family."
Orphans -
Adoption -
Mentoring.
Family relationships can be
frustrating and
stressful at times and can also be the most complicated of
all relationships, but they can also be the most enjoyable and the most
rewarding of all relationships.
Stepfamily is a
family where at least one parent has children that are
not genetically related to the
other spouse or partner. Either one parent may have children from a
previous relationship. Children in a stepfamily may live with one
biological parent, or they may live with each biological parent for a
period of time. In addition, visitation rights mean that children in
stepfamilies often have contact with both biological parents, even if they
permanently live with only one. A child is referred to as the stepchild,
stepdaughter or stepson of their biological parent's new spouse, and that
person as the stepparent, stepfather or stepmother of the child. A
stepfather is the husband of one's mother, and not one's biological
father. A stepmother is the wife of one's father, and not one's biological
mother. A step-grandmother is the wife of one's grandfather, and not one's
biological grandmother. A step-grandfather is the husband of one's
grandmother, and not one's biological grandfather. A step-uncle is the
brother of one's mother's husband or father's wife, and not one's uncle. A
step-aunt is the sister of one's mother's husband or father's wife, and
not one's aunt. Similarly, a stepbrother is the son of a stepparent who
one is not biologically related to. A stepsister is the daughter of a
stepparent to whom one is not biologically related. A step-grandson is the
son of a stepson or stepdaughter who one is not biologically related to. A
step-granddaughter is the daughter of a stepson or stepdaughter who one is
not biologically related. A step-cousin is the son or daughter of one's
step-uncle or step-aunt who one is not biologically related. A parent's
spouse of the same sex may also count as a stepparent.
Close-Knit Family is a
family that stays connected or stays near each other and are bound
together by intimate social or cultural ties or by close economic or
political ties. A close family does things together and they have strong
relationships even when their views differ. The phrase close-knit means
that a
fabric weave is tight or
tightly woven and the stitches are very close together, which makes it
stronger and more secure like a good knot.
Close is to draw near and come together and
to be in close in proximity. To bring together all the elements or parts
of things. To
unite or
bring into contact or bring together the edges of different things. To be
at or within a short distance in space or time or having elements near
each other. Not far away in position, relationship or time. Fitting
closely but comfortably. A close relationship that is guarded, attentive,
strict and thorough and confined to specific persons and relevance that is
affectionate with protective acceptance. Close can also mean to shut
something and stop something from being open and prevent something or
obstruct something from entering or escaping.
Kinship
is the web of social relationships that form an important part of the
lives of all humans in all societies, although its exact meanings even
within this discipline are often debated.
Working Together.
Kin Selection is the evolutionary strategy that favours the
reproductive success of an organism's relatives, even at a cost to the
organism's own survival and reproduction. Kin altruism is altruistic
behaviour whose evolution is driven by kin selection. Kin selection is an
instance of inclusive fitness, which combines the number of offspring
produced with the number an individual can ensure the production of by
supporting others, such as siblings.
Sibling Rivalry is a type of
competition or animosity
among siblings, whether blood related or not. Siblings generally spend
more time together during childhood than they do with parents. The sibling
bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental
treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside
the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very
close in age and of the same gender and/or where one or both children are
intellectually gifted.
Birth Order refers to the order a child is born in their
family; first-born and second-born are examples.
Favoritism (praise and punishment)
Sibling is one of two or more individuals having one or both
parents in common. A male sibling is a
brother,
and a female sibling is a
sister. In most
societies throughout the world, siblings often grow up together, thereby
facilitating the development of strong emotional bonds. The emotional bond
between siblings is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as
parental treatment, birth order, personality, and personal experiences
outside the family. However, there are cases where siblings grow up in
separate homes, in different environments. It is known that both nature
and nurture figure in development; researchers are attempting to ascertain
just which one plays the larger role.
Dysfunctional Family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and
often
child neglect or
abuse on the part of individual parents occur
continually and regularly, sometimes leading to other members of the
family to
mimic or
mirror these bad behaviors and
actions, sometimes
without being aware of it. Children can grow up in such families with
the
misunderstanding that their
experiences or their family is normal. Dysfunctional families
are primarily a result of being
undereducated
and not having enough knowledge and skills that are needed to be good
parents. This usually starts
with the parents being exposed to dysfunctional parents of their own.
Dysfunctional parents may emulate or over-correct their behaviors,
depending on their own personal experiences that they had with their own
dysfunctional parents. In some cases, a
child-like parent
will allow the dominant parent to abuse their children. This could give
rise to
codependent adults, and
may also
influence
addictions to
behaviors,
substances or drugs. A dysfunctional parent may also be experiencing an untreated
mental illness that was over
looked, usually because
observers had very little knowledge and skill with
analyzing such
behaviors, and they also had no good examples that would help them to make
accurate
comparisons with.
Dysfunction
-
Lack of Empathy
Family Therapy is a branch of
psychotherapy that works with
families and couples in intimate relationships to nurture change and
development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of
interaction between family members. It emphasizes family relationships as
an important factor in psychological health.
Family Counseling -
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
Sibling Relationships in Adulthood: Research Findings and New
Frontiers. Sibling relationships can be the longest lasting relationships
in most people's lives, have been understudied compared to other family
relationships. The goal of this review is to increase understanding of
sibling relationships from midlife to older adulthood by integrating
aspects of psychological and sociological theories, including social
exchange, family systems, and life course perspectives, to better
understand the structure, function, processes, and meaning of sibling
relationships in middle and later life. This theoretical integration
promotes a comprehensive study of sibling relationships by considering
individual and family characteristics as well as the broader social and
cultural contexts in which sibling ties are situated. Further, this
integration facilitates the study of sibling relationships across time. In
addition to reviewing current knowledge about sibling relationships in
adulthood, we discuss directions for future research, the methodological
practices necessary to advance this research, and the translational
significance of research on adult sibling relationships for aging
populations.
Sibling Relationships and Influences in Childhood and Adolescence.
About 80% of children in the United States grow up with a sibling.
Sibling Relationships in Older Adulthood: Links with Loneliness and
Well-being. Siblings can help support one another to maintain their health
and companionship, and recounting shared memories can be a powerful
antidote to loneliness.
Relationship Counseling is the process of
counseling the
parties of a human relationship in an effort to recognize, and to better
manage or reconcile, troublesome differences and repeating patterns of
stress upon the relationship. The relationship involved may be between
members of a family or a couple (see also family therapy), employees or
employers in a workplace, or between a professional and a client.
Marriage Counseling -
Discernment Counseling -
Love -
Marriage
Controlling anger
and having
patience,
tolerance,
compassion and
understanding are very useful tools in every relationship
.
All relationships experience
difficulties from time to time.
Communication and
perception are sometimes taken for granted.
These differences in
awareness makes most relationships very difficult to
communicate effectively with some relationships being totally
dysfunctional.
Communication is a two-way street. Listen not just with your
ears but with your mind and your heart together. There is always
more then just the words that people speak and always more then
just the actions that people take, there is always more to
pay attention to.
There's more then meets the ear, There's more then meets the
eye. Listen to the words and not so much the tone in which they
are spoken. You have to learn how to separate
emotion from
perception when listening. This is not to say that you
should not use emotion when speaking because some people respond
better to emotion, as long as you are sure what emotion to use.
Expect - Expectations
Expect is to
believe that
something is
probable or likely to happen,
even though there is
no guarantee.
Expectation
is what is
perceived to be the
most likely thing to
happen. An expectation is a
belief
that is centered on one possible future outcome, that may or
may not be realistic.
The degree to which something is expected to be true can be
expressed
using
fallacies. If something
happens that is not all what was expected, it may bring
surprise,
happiness or
disappointment. An expectation
about the behavior or
performance of another person can increase the chances of experiencing
a less
advantageous result that could give rise to the emotion of disappointment.
Everyone makes the mistake of
expecting more from the other person. And
sometimes
people
expect more from the other person than they are
willing to give
to the other person, and on top of that, some people ignorantly
believe that they shouldn't have to ask someone to do something, and that
the other person should naturally know what to do. So instead of just
talking to someone, the over expecting person will just be mad and angry
at the person,
for no reason, except for the
selfish reason that they give
themselves. This is more than just being
stubborn and
narrow-minded, the over
expecting person ignorantly believes that other people are on this earth
to serve them. They ignore the fact that other people have lives too. If
you don't have the decency to reach out and
see the other person
as a human being with their own life experiences, then you're just using
people, like an object that has no worth. And when someone doesn't like being
used, you
blame them and
take it out on them, or
worse, you
suffer in bitter
silence. All you have to do is talk to other people and be
sincerely interested in who
they are and what they do, and care about what they experience and what
they feel. You have to
listen.
You have to have real conversations. You need to avoid bullshit
small talk that's filled with
crazy assumptions and opinions that
offer no proof or give the other person a chance for a
rebuttal. If we just get
angry because we don't get what's expected from life or from
other people, we are just destroying all forms of communication,
internally and externally, and also destroying any chance of
having a healthy conversation or a
healthy relationship.
This allows
ignorance to control our moods and ignorance to ruin our lives.
You have to learn how to
communicate more and expect less. When
we expect, we
reject.
If we expect
respect,
then we are being
disrespectful. A
question is much easier than just
assuming that you know the answer or
know the outcome. You have to stop doing
the same thing or saying the same thing over and over again and
expecting different results or outcomes. You have learn how to
look for new ways of doing things and look for new ways of
understanding things.
Learning to
adjust and
adapt is learning
to survive. Making changes and improvements is natural. Instead
of just
overreacting to a situation, take a moment for a
careful
examination of the situation and then apply the best
logic and
wisdom that you have before you take action or open your mouth.
When you are always
expectant, you will always experience more of the
unexpected.
We make
plans
because we want to predict the future. Making plans is a
process for preparing ourselves for a
future event. When we only have expectations, that means we have no plans
and we have no goals, we only have
a
wish, a wish that was never spoken, only
assumed. We need to
talk more and we need to
listen more. But first, we need
to
stop pretending that we
are talking and listening, and actually start having real conversations
that are based on reality and not assumptions. No
small talk, no
question dodging, just expressing our
understanding of things. No judgment, just
objective observations.
From there, we can start communicating more effectively and efficiently,
and also be more aware and more thoughtful of each other.
Most people mean
well, it’s
just that sometimes people don’t know what they
mean.
It's ok to expect the best, just as long as you
are prepared for the worst.
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend.
Intrapersonal intelligence.
I don't judge people so much
on the stupid things they say, but more by the smart things they
do.
Assumptions -
Biases
-
Expectancy Bias -
Privileges -
Confidence
Vulnerabilities -
Pretending
to Know -
Wishful Thinking
Expectancy Theory proposes an individual will
behave or
act in a certain way because they are
motivated to select a specific
behavior over other behaviors due to what
they expect the result of that
selected behavior will be. In essence, the motivation of the behavior
selection is determined by the desirability of the outcome. However, at
the core of the theory is the cognitive process of how an individual
processes the different motivational elements. This is done before making
the ultimate choice. The outcome is not the sole determining factor in
making the decision of how to behave.
You can't expect things to happen the way you want
them to. You can plan things and you can work together with people
on a project, and you can list all the responsibilities that each person
needs to do that would accomplish the goals that were agreed to. But you
can't expect that someone is going to
live up to their side of the
bargain. And you most definitely
can't expect anything if you have
never had a conversation or a discussion with someone. People are here for
the same reason that you are, to live. People are not here to serve you.
And everyone make mistakes. You can't
pretend that people will always
be focusing on you, especially when other people also have a life. Not
being able to
empathize
makes it extremely difficult to connect with someone and understand
someone. Shallow relationships creates an emptiness of meaningless
interactions. Life is short enough without living a life that's shallow or
meaningless.
I want to be able to live up to someone's
expectations, but only if they can handle situations when they don't get
what they expected. I expect understanding and honesty. I don't expect
abuse and lies. I expect real conversations. I don't expect shallow
observations.
It's not that I have high
expectations for people, it's just that there are too many people
who have such low expectations for other people. If you don't expect much,
you don't get much. If you expect little common sense from other people,
then you receive little common sense from other people. Low expectations causes a lot of problems when people
downplay the
incompetence and
ignore the
corruption, as if it's
something that they can't control, when in fact they can control it, just
as long as they address the problems and stop adding to the
problems, which is easier said than done. People need more accurate ways
to become
informed. The current information system is failing people
miserably. It's a travesty that so many people are so
ill-informed, and
the most damaging part is, a lot of people don't even know that they
are ill-informed. And when you try to explain to people that their
understanding of things is inaccurate or flawed in some ways, they become
all defensive and start blaming other people for the problems, the same
problems that they help to cause. There are many ways that people can
become more educated and more knowledgeable, so it's just a matter of
finding the best technology and the best teaching methods. Everyone is a
student for life, and if you drop out of the school of life, than you
become a risk or a burden.
High
Expectations is when you're
over confident
and you over estimate the probability of a good outcome because you are
either biased or a wishful thinker. When you expect more out of people
without making sure that the person understands what's expected, then you
will get what's expected.
Low Expectations
is when you expect very little from someone, that you receive very little
from someone. So when they give you very little, you except it as being
normal or what's expected, and you do this without knowing if
your low expectations caused a low turnout,
or caused a low quality outcome to happen. So who's
accountable?
It's much
more than just being
patient
and
tolerant or
empathetic, it's
about
understanding and knowing
the fact that people sometimes have no idea what they are saying or doing.
So you sometimes have to give people the benefit of the doubt and give
people a break without being
gullible
or
naive.
Set is a
group of expectations that
shape experience by making people especially
sensitive to specific kinds of
information. A perceptual set, also called perceptual expectancy, is a
predisposition to perceive things in
a certain way. Perceptual sets occur in all the different senses. They can
be long term, such as a special sensitivity to hearing one's own name in a
crowded room, or short term, as in the ease with which hungry people
notice the smell of food. A mental set is a framework for thinking about a
problem. It can be shaped by habit or by desire. Mental sets can make it
easy to solve a class of problem, but attachment to the wrong mental set
can inhibit problem-solving and creativity. Perception can be shaped by
"top-down" processes such as drives and expectations. An effect of these
factors is that people are particularly sensitive to perceive certain
things, detecting them from weaker stimuli than otherwise. A simple
demonstration of the effect involved very brief presentations of non-words
such as "sael". Subjects who were told to expect words about animals read
it as "seal", but others who were expecting boat-related words read it as
"sail". Sets can be created by motivation and so can result in people
interpreting ambiguous situations so that they see what they want to see.
For instance, a person's experience of the events in a sports match can be
biased if they strongly support one of the teams. In one experiment,
students were allocated to pleasant or unpleasant tasks by a computer.
They were told that either a number or a letter would flash on the screen
to say whether they were going to taste an orange juice drink or an
unpleasant-tasting health drink. In fact, an ambiguous figure was flashed
on screen, which could either be read as the letter B or the number 13.
When the letters were associated with the pleasant task, subjects were
more likely to perceive a letter B, and when letters were associated with
the unpleasant task they tended to perceive a number 13. Perceptual sets
have been demonstrated in many social contexts. People who are primed to
think of someone as "warm" are more likely to perceive a variety of
positive characteristics in them, than if the word "warm" is replaced by
"cold". When someone has a reputation for being funny, an audience are
more likely to find them amusing. Individual's perceptual sets reflect
their own personality traits. For example, people with an aggressive
personality are quicker to correctly identify aggressive words or
situations. Mental sets are subconscious tendencies to approach a problem
in a particular way, either helping or interfering in the discovery of a
solution. They are shaped by past experiences, habits, and, most
importantly, culture. These sets also exist as parts of our cognitive
processes although they do not always enter consciousness. This is
demonstrated in the way bookkeepers can balance their book without being
aware of using addition or subtraction. An inappropriate mental set
hampers the solution of straightforward problems. This could happen if the
set contains a false assumption or a belief that is not correct. For
example, when people are asked, "When a United States plane carrying
Canadian passengers crashes in international waters, where should the
survivors be buried?" the phrasing of the question suggests that it is a
problem of international law. People who interpret the statement with this
mental set will miss the fact that survivors would not need to be buried.
A specific form of mental set is functional fixedness, in which someone
fails to see the variety of uses to which an object can be put. An example
would be someone who needs a weight but fails to use an easily available
hammer because their mental set is to think of a hammer as for a specific
purpose.
It's better to know things than
to expect things. Here in this 200 page website is most of the valuable
knowledge and information that you will need in order to fully understand
yourself and the world around you. Life has many challenges. The more you
learn about life, and the more you understand why things happen, the more
prepared you will be. Life has many dangers, but life also has many
benefits. Life has many beautiful things, but Life also has many
responsibilities.
Words that help explain why having expectations is a
false
sense of security that is also unfair and illogical ....
Opinion is a personal belief or judgment that is
not founded on proof or certainty.
Assume is to believe
something to be true without verification or proof.
Things Happen for a Reason.
Guess is an estimate based on little or no
information.
Accusation is an assertion that someone is
guilty of a fault or an offence
without clear evidence or proof.
Innocent
until proven guilty.
Argument -
Debate -
Siri
Argument (youtube)
Seeing the same thing does not always mean feeling the same
thing.
Perception needs to be mutual if we plan to see eye to eye.
Forgiveness -
Happiness
You have to except the fact that some people will never change. It's really hard to change
someone. So sometimes it's easier for you to make the change. And it's
not really a change either, it's more of an adjustment. As
relationships grow something's about people change and
something's stay the same, and trying to
Synchronize your changes with someone else's changes is not
always that easy.
We hear what we expect to hear. Neuroscientists show that the entire
auditory pathway represents sounds according to
prior expectations. During the last 20 years, neuroscience research has
revealed that the cerebral cortex constantly generates
predictions on what will happen
next, and that neurons in charge of sensory processing only encode the
difference between our predictions and the actual reality.
Predictive coding assumes that
the brain is constantly generating predictions about how the physical
world will look, sound, feel, and smell like in the next instant, and that
neurons in charge of processing our senses save resources by representing
only the differences between these
predictions and the actual physical world. Given the importance that
predictions have on daily life, impairments on how expectations are
transmitted to the subcortical pathway could have profound repercussion in
cognition.
How can a person be
cruel,
abusive and
hurtful to their own family members and then be nice to
strangers?
Abuse Crimes.
Why do people act differently
while in the presence of other people?
Interpersonal intelligence.
Certain relationships are more challenging than others, but
through each relationship we have an opportunity to grow and
help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something
about loving, trusting, forgiving, setting boundaries, taking
care of
ourselves, and taking care of each other. Use the lessons that
people teach you through your interactions, like patience,
compassion, or courage. Share the beauty that is you with the
people around you.
Friendship.
Trust is something that
you earn, trust is not something that you expect. I trust people all the
time because most people are trust worthy. But even the most trusted
people can make
mistakes. I trust strangers, I just don't expect strangers
to be honest. I have trust in my own judgment, even when I know that I can
make mistakes.
True unselfishness is when you do
something for someone else who hardly ever does the same thing
for you, whether or not they unintentionally or intentionally
did not return your kindness.
Generosity is like an investment in
Love,
except that you never have to wait for a return from your
investment in love, because you could never be short on love
especially when you have the ability to create love anywhere you
are.
Love
Yourself
The Truth does not have to Hurt.
You can still speak the truth without offending someone or
making a situation more complicated then it needs to be.
Honesty needs the right words at the right time.
Sincerity has responsibilities that you need to be aware of.
Trust
is have confidence or faith in. Certainty based on past experience.
The trait of believing in the
honesty and
reliability of others.
Inclined to believe or confide readily.
Trust -
Loyalty -
Faith.
Trust is having faith in a particular
action, but it is still a calculated risk. This is not saying that you
trust someone completely with everything they do. You might just
trust their judgment for a particular action based on your
previous experiences with that persons abilities in that
particular field of knowledge. Someone can earn your trust but
it does not guarantee success.
It’s like you are always leaving a door open for people to
get under your skin so that they can irritate you. You have to
label that door with this saying “The Level of Communication has
Changed”.
You have to learn to know when the level of communication has
changed.
Communicating on an emotional level or even a professional level
is never a constant.
You have to learn to listen to just the words. Do not listen to
the tone that is being used to speak the words, just the words
themselves. And do not pay attention to the timing of those
words or their lack of relevance, just listen to the words and
then calmly give a logical response.
You have to Learn how to weigh the things that you are using to
measure something. When you are judging someone it's really
important to know what you are measuring this judgment with and
how those things measure against what's important as well as
what your priorities are. If you don't know where the line is, how will you know when
you crossed the line?
You can dish it out, but can't take it. When you get a taste of your own medicine,
you have to be aware it, otherwise you will not learn anything.
Complaining
-
Forgiveness -
Anger Management
-
Praising -
Awarding -
Punishing
Numb - Linkin Park
(youtube) - I'm tired of being what you want me to be, Feeling so
faithless, lost under the surface,
Don't know what
you're expecting of me, Put under the pressure of walking in your
shoes, Every step that I take is another mistake to you. (Caught in the
undertow, just caught in the undertow), I've become so numb, I can't feel
you there, Become so tired, So much more aware, I'm becoming this, All I
want to do, Is be more like me, And be less like you, Can't you see that
you're smothering me, Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? 'Cause
everything that you thought I would be, Has fallen apart right in front of
you, Every step that I take is another mistake to you, (Caught in the
undertow, just caught in the undertow). And every second I waste is more
than I can take, I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, Become so
tired, So much more aware, I'm becoming this, All I want to do, Is be more
like me, And be less like you, And I know, I may end up failing too, But I
know, You were just like me with someone disappointed in you, I've become
so numb, I can't feel you there, Become so tired, So much more aware, I'm
becoming this, All I want to do, Is be more like me, And be less like you,
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, (I'm tired of being what you
want me to be). I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, (I'm tired of
being what you want me to be).
Single Parents
Single
Parent is a person bringing up a child or children
without a partner
or a person who lives with a child or children and who does not have a
spouse or live-in partner. Reasons for becoming a single
parent include
divorce,
break-up, abandonment,
death of the other parent, childbirth by a single
woman or single-person
adoption. A single
parent family is a family
with children that is headed by a single parent.
Single Parent is a parent that parents alone without the
other parent's support, meaning this particular parent is the only parent
to the child, responsible for all financial, material, and emotional
needs. It means there is an absence of the other parent as opposed to a
co-parent, meaning that the parent is not the only parent regardless of
whether or not they are a couple. Of course, this definition is loosely
true. There is no true definition of what "single parent" means and is
more based on opinions. Sometimes, one finds themselves in a single-parent
family structure that has arisen due to death of the partner, intentional
artificial insemination, or unplanned pregnancy.
Consequences of Fatherlessness
-
Fatherless Statistics
-
Estrange -
Monogamy
-
Being Single -
Adoption -
Orphan -
Foster Care
24 Million Children in America, or one out of every three
children,
live in biological father-absent homes.
The typical American lives only 18 miles from their Mom.
Nuclear Family is a
family
group consisting of parents and their children. It is in contrast to a
single-parent family, the larger extended family, or a family with more
than two parents.
Nuclear Family is also known as elementary family or conjugal family.
Co-Parenting -
Same Sex Parents -
Multiracial Parents -
Conservative Radicalism
Conjugal Family includes only a husband, a wife, and unmarried
children who are not of age.
Consanguineal family
consists of a parent, his or her children, and other relatives.
Children raised by two parents have a
much higher chance of success than those raised by one, though the impacts
for children's success is
relative whether parents are married or not.
American children are increasingly being born and raised by single mothers.
The U.S. has the world's highest rate of children living in single-parent
households, according to a 2019 Pew Research Center study. Almost a
quarter, or 23% of U.S. children under age 18, live with one parent and no
other adults. More women are deciding to have children and also remain
single.
Almost half of all babies born in the U.S. were born to unmarried women in
2019, a dramatic increase since 1960, when only 5% of births were to
unmarried mothers. And it's not because of divorce; today's unpartnered
mothers are also more likely to have never been married.
Moving back in with your parents as an adult isn't an easy decision,
but sometimes it's necessary. 2021 data from the
U.S. Census Bureau, one in three American adults ages 18 to 34 live at
home. And a 2022 study by the Pew Research Center found that young
Americans are far more likely to live in multigenerational households than
50 years ago, with student debt and rising housing costs among the reasons
why.
Dating - Finding the Right Person

How do you find the right person for you? How do
you find Mrs. Right or Mr. Right? How do you build a
healthy relationship?
What questions should
you ask someone in order to know them?
Remember, it's not about finding the
perfect person,
it's about finding the person who is
perfect for you.
Dating is a stage of the
human mating process whereby two people meet socially, possibly as
friends, or possibly with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability
as a partner in an
intimate relationship or
in
marriage. It can be a form of
courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. The
protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, may vary
considerably from country to country, and may vary over time. While the term
dating has
several meanings, the most common sense is when two people are trying out a
relationship and exploring whether they are
compatible with each
other. They may start out by going out
together in public as a couple, that is, they are undergoing a trial
period to
assess mutual compatibility. Sometimes
dating may refer
to a couple who have already decided that they like each other, and are
seeing each other on a regular basis, and who may or may not be having
sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a
precursor to an engagement or as a
precursor to
marriage, or maybe as just a
precursor for a long and beautiful
friendship.
Hit It Off is when two people like each
other immediately and become friendly as soon as they meet. When two
people make a positive connection and are well suited for each other.
Asking a women or a man out on a date.
At the most appropriate moment available ask this question."I was just
wondering, if you ever feel like going out on a date, I would be cool with
that, and if you
just
want to stay friends, I'm also cool with that too." and
then thank them for the answer either way. I just wanted to be sure, and
not assume something or
miss out on
something.
You have
to be emotionally secure, and not desperate. You have to be able to take
care of yourself. You have to be able to handle
rejection and not take
things personally. You have to know yourself. You have to know your values
and know the things that are really important to you. You have to have
dreams and goals. You have to know the difference between what you want,
and what you need in a partner.
If two people have different
goals that takes them in two
different directions, then you can easily grow apart. But if you don't mind
spending time apart from each other, then it may work. But if you
expect
more than you are willing to give yourself, then your
selfishness will rip the
relationship apart. The timing in your life when you meet someone, and
level of knowledge and understanding that you have at that current time in
your life, can make all the difference in the success of that
relationship. You will always here people say, "if things were different,
we may still be together."
La La Land (2016 film) (wiki).
Most relationships usually start out with you being
attracted
to someone. Then you start talking with them and having
conversations. Then you may hit it off with
that someone, and you may start to enjoy someone's company.
Then you may start
feeling comfortable with someone, and you may start feeling comfortable with being
yourself around them. Sometimes you may have no idea why you're attracted
to someone. Is it
superficial? Is it a sign? Or is there some kind of deeper connection
involved? Sometimes, you may find out why you're attracted to someone only
after you have spent some time with them, and you were able to get to know
them more and learn more about them. Sometimes attraction can be confused
with
infatuation. So until
you get know more about someone, its hard to tell what your attraction to
someone is really about. Attraction could sometimes be something special
or spiritual, and sometimes attraction can be as simple as a
curiosity or an
interest.
Remember, every relationship does not
have to be a
romantic relationship. And having
expectations can ruin almost every relationship. So don't ever go by first impression's,
and don't ever ignore behaviors that would indicate trouble,
ignorance, instability, or dishonesty.
Talking Stage is the start of a
relationship or the early stage of a relationship where two people are
talking or texting, and hanging out with each other and getting to
know each other, and eventually expressing a mutual romantic interest
before officially dating.
The dating pool for many young women in 2022
is sadly filled with a lot of men who
porn addicts, and guys who are so
sensitive that
they need constant
emotional support. Then there are the
narcissistic gym bros who
are completely
obsessed
with their looks. And then there's also the men who are
emotionally distant manipulators
or two faced hypocrites who think that
treating
women badly is normal behavior.
Dating
Pool is the group of people who are available for dating.
Relationship Questions.
What are your likes and dislikes? What are your Interests? What
are your long term goals? What are your short term goals? What are you doing now? When do you see yourself being ready to
make a commitment? Are you still in the exploring stage?
Do you understand mutual respect, trust, honesty, being supportive and
having fairness and equality? Do you understand separate identities, good communication,
and having a sense of
playfulness and fondness?
To have
a good relationship that is strong and stable, you should both
share these qualities. Be sincere and honest, and always avoid lying.
Truly listen to your partner and give them your full attention. Remember
to give the person compliments. Show them how confident you are, but also,
show them that you're not afraid to share your vulnerable side, or express
any insecurities you might have. Always look for common ground and find
ways to adapt. Remember what the person likes and what they dislike. Be
there for the person when they need you, and offer to help them,
especially when doing chores. Spend time with your partner, and show them
how special they are and how much they mean to you, and remind them that
they are always on your mind, especially when you're apart. Remember to
give the person some space once in a while, let the person breathe and
have some alone time. Always show the person respect, be thoughtful and be
faithful. Saying no to a desire is saying yes to your partner, it lets
them know that they are much more important then some temporary
gratification.
Dating Red Flags
- Cut asked 100 people to share what would stop them from dating someone —
and why someone shouldn't date them. (youtube)
What I Like About
You - The Romantics (youtube) - What I like about you, you hold me
tight, Tell me I'm the only one, wanna' come over tonight, yea. What I
like about you, you really know how to dance, When you go up, down, jump
around, think about true romance, yea. What I like about you, you keep me
warm at night, Never wanna' let you go, know you make me feel alright,
yea.
Dating
Websites,
Online Dating Services and
Social Networks should be more about teaching people about
relationships instead of exploiting their desires, or,
exploiting their personal information
for financial gain. We should be learning from our experiences
and knowledge, instead of using our experiences and knowledge
just to attract a mate.
If Dating Apps Were Honest | Honest Ads (Tinder, Match.com, Bumble,
OkCupid, Eharmony Parody) - Man Offers A Hilariously Brutal Dose Of
Reality About Dating Apps. (youtube). Hinge, Adult Friend Finder, Pure,
Feeld, Match, Zoosk, "Grinder" for gay men and "Her" for gay women.
Matchmaking is the
process of
matching two or more people together based on each persons likes,
dislikes, skills and needs.
Anonymous Matching is a matchmaking method facilitated by computer
databases, in which each user confidentially selects people they are
interested in dating and the computer identifies and reports matches to
pairs of users who share a mutual attraction.
Collaboration and not just
cohabitation.
Friendship -
Marriage
Vows -
Weddings
Internet Relationship is a relationship between
people who have met online,
and in many cases know each other only via the Internet. Online
relationships are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships. This
relationship can be romantic, platonic, or even based on business affairs.
An internet relationship or
online relationship is generally sustained for a certain amount of
time before being titled a relationship, just as in-person relationships.
The major difference here is that an internet relationship is sustained
via computer or online service, and the individuals in the relationship
may or may not ever meet each other in person. Otherwise, the term is
quite broad and can include relationships based upon text, video, audio,
or even virtual character. This relationship can be between people in
different regions, different countries, different sides of the world, or
even people who reside in the same area but do not communicate in person.
Pen
Pal are people who regularly write to each other, particularly via
postal mail. Pen pals are usually strangers whose relationship is based
primarily, or even solely, on their exchange of letters. Occasionally pen
pals may already have a relationship that is not regularly conducted in
person.
Woman Confronts Pick Up Artist Podcasters about why they advised their
listeners not to go out with girls like her, and things get uncomfortable.
Instagram model Brittany Renner takes "Male Self Improvement" podcasters
Myron Gaines and Walter Weekes to task after they tried to "warn guys
about girls" like her.
How Many Single People are
there?
162 Million Females in the U.S. as of July
2014. The number of males was 157.0 million.
U.S.
Map showing Density areas of Married People and Not Married People.
Clubbing in the
Wild - VLDL (nature documentary parody) (youtube) - David Attenborough
describes the dating rituals of humans from a
naturalists point of
view.
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which
precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed
relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple get to
know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such
agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two
people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family
approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been
perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a
female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a
proposal of marriage.
"He's nice once you get to know him, which
means, he's a dick, but you'll get use to it".
Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not
married live together. Such arrangements have become increasingly common
in Western countries during the past few decades, being led by changing
social views, especially regarding marriage, gender roles and religion.
They often involve a romantic and/or sexually intimate relationship on a
long-term or permanent basis. More broadly, the term cohabitation can mean
any number of people living together. To "cohabit", in a broad sense,
means to "coexist". The origin of the term comes from the mid 16th
century, from the Latin cohabitare, from co- 'together' + habitare
'dwell'.
Concubinage is an interpersonal relationship in which a
person engages in an ongoing
sexual
relationship with another person to whom he/she is not or cannot be
married to in the full extent of the local meaning of marriage. The
inability to marry may be due to multiple factors such as differences in
social rank status, an existing marriage, religious prohibitions,
professional ones (for example Roman soldiers) or a lack of recognition by
appropriate authorities. The woman in such a relationship is referred to
as a concubine.
Consummation is the first (or first officially credited) act
of
sexual intercourse between two
people, either following their marriage to each other or after a prolonged
sexual attraction. The definition of consummation usually refers to
penile-vaginal sexual penetration, but some religious doctrines hold that
there is an additional requirement that there must not be any
contraception used.
Just because you find someone who shares the same interests does
not necessarily mean that they want to share these interests
with you. There's so much more to a relationship.
It usually takes about 6 months to one year before you can
actually know a person and understand them. And it's not just
knowing who that person is but also knowing who you are when
you're with that person. So in actuality you're
Discovering two people at once. Why do people Change?
Some People just don't have the same
Awareness.
Some People just don't have the same
Knowledge.
Some People just don't have the same
Belief System.
Some People just don't have the same
Sense of Humor.
When people study the same subjects and
seek similar careers, they have a tendency to marry each other.
Percentage of Men who Marry women who Share Majors (image) -
Percentage of Women
(image) -
Percentage of People
(image)
Everyone should have a
relationship contract that explains their idea of what a
perfect relationship should be. How much are you willing to
compromise on each others differences?
Business Proposal -
Marriage.
Our Relationship Contracts -
Pre Relationship Agreement
How to Have a Healthy Relationship
Mutual Love Agreement -
Ask a Love
CoachFriendship -
Love
-
Human SexualityTV Shows have
Distorted Views on Dating -
Parody of what
Every Season of The Bachelor TV show is Like, Almost Too Accurate (youtube)
- This show makes dating look shallow, and makes relationships look like
irrelevant experiences that have little meaning.
Annoying
Things Your Friends Say After A Break-Up (youtube)
Dating
Advice -
Dating
Tips (youtube, 1949)
Beware of
the Doghouse- Hilarious! (youtube)
Feeling Boxed In -
Rejection
Every 13 seconds, someone in the United States files for
Divorce.
Finding the right person for you is an
incredible task, but it's not impossible. But you still have to
understand that you will never know who the right person will
be, or will you ever know if the right person you have now is
actually the right person for you. So there's really no right
person, only the best person that you have found so far. And
don't waste your time thinking about the ' what if's ' or waste
your time with regrets. Even though it's fun to imagine all the
different
scenarios that could have happened in your life, those
dreams will never be productive or healthy because it's
impossible to calculate what could have been when all the
factors involved could never be known. So it's just a dream, and
when it comes to dreams, you should choose your dreams wisely,
dreams that have a higher percentage of coming true, or dreams
that are not so centered around you.
Relationships can
be very time consuming and also
emotionally
draining at times, along with
distractions that seem to be never ending. This leaves a person with
almost no time to progress and to develop as a person. People in
relationships need personal
time to themselves. Not just to relax, but to
work on themselves and to keep learning and exploring. Every week should
be a better more improved version of your previous self.
Growing together
instead of growing apart. And if you do end up not being right for each
other because of certain differences in your goals, then at least the
break up will be civil because each person had time to mature as
individuals, instead of having no time to mature, which usually causes a
messy breakup.
All relationships will always have
some
risk involved. So
when a relationship starts, it's a good idea to
discuss the risks so that the
risks are fully understood and that no one gets hurt or has any
regrets.
Questions to Ask Someone when Trying to Know Someone on a Personal Level
- Compatibility
There are hundreds of questions that
you can ask someone in order
to know them. Choose the
questions that you want to ask that you
believe
are the most important to you. But remember, learning to see if
someone is
compatible will never be 100%
accurate, just like
profiling is not always
accurate. There's just too many
questions and answers that are
needed to
capture enough
information. Some
questions can be
misleading, some
questions are hard to
answer, and sometimes the
truth is debatable. So keep an open mind.
Psychological questions
can be
misinterpreted and
manipulated, so be aware.
Divorces are common,
relationships are hard and
losing touch with
someone is easy, so there's no
guarantee that you'll find
the right person or make a relationship work.
No one is
perfect.
Observation Flaws
-
Assessments -
Examinations -
Hiring Process -
Background
Checks -
TSA
-
Labels -
Romance Scams -
Personality Testing
-
InterventionCan you
recognize the
warning signs? Can you
spot the
red flags? Can you
correctly
interpret weird behaviors
or
personality characteristics
that might be a sign of
future
problems? Signs of bad behavior can include inconsistency in their
words and actions,
manipulative
behavior, a
lack of
empathy, and a pattern of
dishonesty. It's important to trust your instincts and pay attention
to any red flags that may indicate someone is not who they appear to be.
Two Faced.
Getting to truly know someone takes time, usually around 6 months.
And during that time, a person can change. So knowing a person can be
difficult at times. To have a
real
conversation is hard when
you haven't learned enough to know how to
have one. You can
piece things together from all the
conversations and
experiences you had with someone in order to have an idea if the person is
a good match, but
there's no guarantee. Some people who have been together for years sometimes end up
finding out that the person they thought they knew was actually
lying
about who they really were. Even if you do a
psychological assessment
on someone, you can still
get some thing's wrong about that person.
You can be
people smart, but
that doesn't say that you will personally know that person.
Being able to
put
yourself in other peoples shoes does not say that you know them.
Understanding the mind of another person
takes skill and knowledge.
Even getting to
know yourself can sometimes take a
life time, so how are you supposed to know someone when you don't fully
understand yourself?
Communication is a skill
that very few people fully understand. Don't
assume and don't
expect. Ask
questions
and know, instead of
pretending
that you know.
Learning instead of
yearning will
always be more productive and a lot more healthier.
You have to find me and know where I am and know where I'm coming from.
And I have to find you and know where you are and know where you are
coming from.
You are not going to pretend to know me, and I am not going
to pretend to know you. I will get to know you and you will get know me.
Building
trust is our goal.
What are you looking for in a relationship?
What kind of man
or women are you looking for? What are the key
requirements and
characteristics that a man or women should have that you feel are
important? What is your type?
How do you know if you're
compatible? When you
have time to
observe how
another person
experiences
and
interprets different
situations, and when you have time to
discus and debate various
subjects
openly and
honestly, then you can
eventually tell if that person is right for you.
Like Minded is when two people have similar
tastes and opinions, or have similar interests.
When you reveal private information and certain details about your life,
a person may date you just to exploit those things that you have. A person
may be more in love with your things than they are in love with who you
are as a person. And there are also scumbag people who could take
advantage of your generosity and kindness, so be very careful. If you list
deal breakers or have things that you can't compromise on, then you might
discriminate against someone who is more compatible with you then someone
who checks all the boxes correctly. Even if the person answers all the
questions to your liking, this does not mean that the person didn't lie or
that the person won't change, or that your criteria or questions didn't
measure how crazy someone is, or how dangerous someone is, or how boring
someone is, or does it mean that the person will be that into you, or even
end up falling in love with you. All you can do is increase your chances
of finding someone that you will click with. Dating is a crap shoot, you
might get lucky on the first roll of the dice, or, you could lose
everything if you bet it all. It's best not to have any expectations. Go
slow, be thorough, and most of all, don't bet it all on one person. To
assume that you found the right person is to assume that you know it all.
When you meet someone, and you are
interested in
knowing them and
learning more about who they are, you should never have
any
expectations. If you have a chance to talk to
someone, then
make the best of it. And If you can create another opportunity to talk
more, then that's great, if not, then that's fine too. Trying harder
sometimes can make a difference, but being realistic and aware will always be
a huge time saver. You can say that you're not ready for a relationship,
but everyone knows, no one is ever really ready for a relationship,
because relationships sometimes just happen. Mostly because humans are
born to be explorers, including the journey's we take into a new
relationships. There will always be
risks and dark
secrets. Just don't have any regrets. Learn
from
mistakes and keep
going.
The key is to always keep learning -
Stay in touch.
Don't look
for the perfect person, look for the person
who is perfect for you.
And in return, be the perfect person for them.
Will the person truly make you happy? Will you make the other person truly
happy? Would your family approve of the relationship? Would your friends
approve of the relationship? Would you still reach your goals and be able
to still chase your dreams? Does the other person share your passions?
Does the other person have the same interests as you? Does the other person
share the same goals as you?
People want a partner who has
emotional stability and maturity, someone who is educated and intelligent,
someone dependable and trusting, someone who is sociable with good social
status, someone in good health and who takes good health serious, someone
who knows how to cook and and knows how to keep a house clean, someone who
believes in good hygiene and looking their best, someone with mutual
attraction and respect, someone with similar goals and similar values,
someone who cares about the wellbeing of children and others in need.
Do you argue constantly? Do you constantly complain? Do you constantly
bicker? Do you like to control things or micromanage things? Can you
control your anger? Do you have anger issues? Can you stop making assumptions? Do you know what a
paradox is? Do have have empathy? Can you give an example of your empathy?
Are you stubborn? Can you change, adapt and make compromises when having
disagreements? Can you agree on conflict resolution strategies? Are you
uncomfortable revealing your true self? Do you have a sense of humor? What
do you consider your lifestyle? What are your religious beliefs? Do you
believe in God or are you an atheist? What are
your philosophical beliefs and core values? What kind of
emotional baggage do
you carry? Do you need to spend a lot of time by yourself? You would
rather be with yourself and plan your day without your partner? Can you be
yourself? Do you know the difference between quality time together and
solo hobbies? What intellectual level do you prefer? Would you be OK with
someone smarter than you? Would you be OK with someone not as smart as
you? Are you comfortable with talking about sexual preferences? What are
your priorities and life goals? Do you always need attention, or are you
self soothing? Can you say what's on your mind, or do you assume that
people can just read your mind? Do you know what making an assumption
means? Are you a democrat or republican? Did you go to college? Do you
have a degree? Do you have a job that you like doing? Do you have
children? Do you want children? What is you age? What is your height and
weight? Do you enjoy good food? Can you cook? Do you do drugs or drink
alcohol? Are you introverted or extroverted or in between? How much money
you make? How much debt do you have? Do you have health insurance? What's
your zodiac sign? Do you have a good relationship with your family? Are
you a dog person or a cat person, neither or both?
The First
Couple To Ever Move In Together (ft. Julie Nolke) (youtube)
Can you put yourself in
someone else's shoes? Do you know how to have a
meaningful conversation? How
well do you
know yourself? How well do you
know other people? Are you
the
jealous type? Do you
feel insecure when the
attention of your mate is not on you? Do you jump
to conclusions or make
assumptions
about your mate? Are you afraid to ask questions in fear that you might
offend your mate or give them the wrong impression? Can you start a
conversation without turning
it into an argument? Can you talk freely and openly without being
condescending or
presumptuous? Do you know how to
compromise? Can you
listen to someone speaking
without being distracted or thinking to yourself about what you want to
say next? Could you honestly say that you don't play head games? Do
you
respect yourself? Do
you respect others? Are you
compassionate? I understand that people get second thoughts and no
longer want to be in a intimate relationship with the person they're with,
so the two questions are, could you handle
rejection? And could you
let someone down easy without hurting their feelings or insulting them?
Last question, do you find pleasure in acting like an
a*shole? Hopefully
not, because it's sad to know that there are people in the world who
actually enjoy being an as*hole and believe that it's OK to be a lying scumbag. Of course the reason
is
ignorance, but try explaining
that to an ignorant person. (no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, no). Our answers match, so you passed the first round of questioning.
Now let's
see how we do on the second round of
questions.
Note:
You really have to be good at
analyzing the answers to these questions
below. And the answers
may not be that accurate, because sometimes people don't know
the truth, or even know enough about the question to accurately
answer it. So the first answer may not be the same answer later
on, especially after the person had time to think about the
question a little more. These questions may help you to
understand a little about someone, but this is in no way a
judgment of that person, because only an open debate and
discussion could accurately understand our views and our
perceptions, which is totally related to what we know now, and
not related to what we will learn and know in the future.
Because the more we learn, the more we can understand ourselves
and the more we can understand other people, but that's only if
you learn the right things at the right time. Think of these
questions as a starting point of a conversation, don't think of
these questions as an
interview, or
an assessment, or a judgment, or some sort of measurement.
You should be able to logically explain why you do
certain things, and explain why you don't do certain things, and
why you like certain things, and why you don't like certain things? There
has to be reasons for a particular behavior. If you don't know the causes
of your behavior, then you should at least understand the negative effects
of your behavior. Ignoring reality does not make reality go away. And not
being a good person in certain ways does not make you a bad person. You
become a bad person when you stop caring and stop being responsible for
your own life and for the lives of others. And just because you're good in
certain ways, this does not mean that people will ignore when you're bad
in certain ways. You have to find ways to be good person and find ways to
stop ignoring when you're a bad person. You need knowledge to learn, but
you also need to acknowledge what you haven't learn. Learning is valuable
and satisfying, but you can never be totally satisfied with what you know,
because that means learning will stop, and
you don't want to
stop learning because learning is valuable and satisfying.
"When you judge another, you do not define them,
you define yourself."
"Some people say that you never have a second chance for a first
impression. But sometimes you do."
There
will always be
more questions to ask someone than what is listed below.
Sometimes a persons answer can create more questions. So pay attention to
the answers and always have follow up questions, because some answers can
be
vague. And try to
avoid trick questions, they can
create confusing answers.
Those looking for love may have more success if they also seek a sense of
purpose in life. Those whose profiles show a
sense of purpose were rated higher
on various scales for attractiveness compared with profiles that indicated
no sense of purpose.
Compatibility Questions
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
How would your friends describe you?
How would you like
people to see you?
How would you like people to remember you?
Tell me one thing you really like about yourself?
What is one thing you’d like to change about yourself?
Is there something about yourself you would like to keep
private?
Would you lie to protect someone's feelings?
Would you lie
if the truth was too embarrassing?
Do you think that being truthful is
sometimes risky?
Do you understand what relative means?
Do you
forgive people for mistakes?
Do you have any addiction problems?
Are
you on any medication?
Have you ever been arrested?
Do you have any
kind of debt?
Do you have any allergies?
Do you have any
vulnerabilities to diseases in your DNA?
Do you have any weird
hang-ups?
Have you ever been married before?
Do
you understand what being incompatible is?
Do you like to learn new
things?
Do you have the ability to change, adapt and make compromises?
What is your story?
You can learn so much about someone if you hear even a bit about
their
journey instead of
focusing exclusively on the here and now. And when people start
telling their
story, things
can really get interesting.
Are you working on something that really excites you?
What is a hidden talent of yours very few people know about?
What global issue do you wish you could solve?
What place have you always wanted to travel to?
Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?
Do you believe in something that very few others agree with?
What is one of your guilty pleasures?
What do you like to do outside of work?
If you could be a professional athlete, what sport would you
play?
If you were given a time machine, what time period would you go
to?
If you only had two weeks to live, what would you do?
If you were given $1 million but had to spend it in one day, how
would you spend it?
If you could put up a billboard, where would you put it, and
what would it say?
If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
What is one skill you feel every person should have?
What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?
Philosophical Questions
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like
and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve
done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would
make you rich?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live
your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life
has taken?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.
They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing
she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and
unjustified. What do you do?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone
happy?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you
currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really
believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you?
Identity.
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch
with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able
to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely
upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so
special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate
and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away
feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what
is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually
enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the
soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow,
who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years
to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just
go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to
make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge
you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own
breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly
expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?
What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Personal Questions
What is your mother’s maiden name?
Where were you born?
What color are your eyes?
What is one place you desperately want to travel to?
What do they regret about your family life?
Do you like celebrating your birthday?
Do you shower in the morning or at night?
Have you ever voted? Why?
What's your
political affiliation?
Why?
Are you an activist? Why?
Is there a certain nickname you absolutely hate to be called?
Where is your family from?
Is your family religious? What
religion?
Do you believe in God?
Do you want a cat or a dog?
Are you a clean freak? Are you
organized?
Can you handle temperatures and humidity?
Which friend have you known the longest?
Who is your closest friend currently?
What childhood memory do you always bring up?
Do they think of yourself as extroverted or introverted?
Do other people think of you as
extroverted or introverted?
Do you practice
safe sex?
Do you have any diseases?
Do you get sick a
lot or do you get infections easy?
How old were you when they lost their virginity?
What are your porn preferences?
What’s your favorite sex position?
Do you like foreplay?
What is the one thing that gets you off every time?
In an ideal world, how many times a week would you want to have
sex?
What is your ideal date night?
Do you have any issues in your
genetic history?
Do you have children?
Do you want children?
What would you do if your child had an
incurable disease?
What would you do if your child was permanently
injured for life?
What would you do if your child died young?
What
would you do if your child said they were gay?
What would you do if
your child committed suicide?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice,
what would it be?
How do you feel about
women's rights?
How do you
feel about
human rights?
How do you feel
about
activism?
Do you think
education should be improved?
What do you thing about the
wealth divide?
What do you think about
democracy?
How
would you raise your Child?
What are the things you would teach your
child?
What do you think of long term commitments, marriage, etc.?
Are you a light sleeper?
Do you like to cuddle while they sleep?
Which celebrity do you find most attractive?
How do you wind down at the end of a long day?
Would you ever want to live abroad?
Do you still have their wisdom teeth?
What do you like on pizza?
What is your favorite meal?
What is your go-to drink order?
What type of chocolate do you prefer?
Do you have condiment/hot sauce preferences?
What foods can you absolutely not stand?
How do you take in your coffee?
Do you have severe allergies and what are they?
If they went to college, what did you study?
Do you like Learning?
Do you like reading?
What are you currently reading?
Have you read any good books lately?
Do you like to watch
movies?
What is your favorite movie?
What type of movies do you like? Drama, comedy, science fiction, action,
documentary?
Do you enjoy music? What's your favorite Type of
Music?
Are you conscious about saving money?
What's more important,
cost, value or price?
Can you accurately measure cost and value to know
what counts?
What is the one thing you could say to make them start arguing
with you?
What is your astrological sign?
What is your favorite season?
What amount of
public display
of affection are you comfortable with?
How often do you use social media?
Do you enjoy socializing?
Do you have any bad Habits? Drinking Alcohol? Pornography? Junk Food?
Technology? Drugs?
Are you confrontational?
What makes you insanely impatient?
Do you complain a lot? Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
What do you worry about in the future?
If today was your last day what would you do?
Do you have
regrets? Can you forgive?
Are you able to change and adapt?
What is your go-to form of exercise?
Do you like outdoor
activities? Are you Adventurous?
Do you like camping? Do you Like
riding a Bicycle? Do you like walking and hiking?
Questions about Work
What type of work do you do?
What business are you in?
What do you like about your job?
What’s your least favorite part of their current job?
What is your dream job?
Resume.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what
you are doing?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
What’s holding you back?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the
right things?
How did you get started in this kind of work?
What
Worker Qualities do you
have?
What are your
Work Ethics?
What do you plan to do when you can no longer do your
job?
How
well do you know your partner? Take our quiz to find out.
Background Checks
-
Competency
-
Observation Flaws -
Mistaken
Identity
If You
Like Pina Coladas - Jimmy Bufett (youtube)
Other Questions you
may Ask
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want
as a dinner guest?
Why?
2. Would you like to be
famous? In what way?
Why?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you
are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
Why?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Why?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either
the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your
life, which would you want?
Why?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in
common?
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Why?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised,
what would it be?
Why?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in
as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality
or ability, what would it be?
Why?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself,
your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to
know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long
time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would
you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive
characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your
childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are
both in this room feeling ... "
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I
could share ... "
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your
partner, please share what would be important for him or her to
know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest
this time, saying things that you might not say to someone
you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By
yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them
already.
32. Do you have a good
sense of humor? What
subject is too serious to be joked about? Are dirty jokes off-limits?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to
communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having
told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire.
After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely
make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find
most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on
how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect
back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you
have chosen.
Published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
(SAGE) -
Authors: Arthur Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Edward Melinat
(California Graduate School of Family Psychology), Elaine N.
Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Robert Darrin Vallone (University of
California, Santa Cruz), Renee J. Bator (Arizona State
University).
Be Nice.
Talk nicely and listen compassionately with deep concern and
appreciation for the other person.
Do something nice for the other person. Actions sometimes speak
louder then words, and gifts are symbolic of love, affection and
appreciation. And don't just think about material gifts, there
are gifts that come from kind gestures, or gifts that come from
giving someone your
full attention.
Showing affection through
physical touch has many benefits,
like a hug, a handshake, a gentle hand on the shoulder, or even a
message. But only with
consent.
Some relationship questions are not that glamorous or
romantic, it's kind of like a business proposal.
How to Write a Business Proposal:
Begin with a title page. Create a table of contents. Explain
your why with an executive summary. State the problem or need.
Propose a solution. Share your qualifications. Include pricing
options. Clarify your terms and conditions. Include a space for
signatures to document agreement.
Business Partner is a commercial entity with which another commercial
entity has some form of
alliance. This relationship may be a
contractual,
exclusive
bond in which both entities
commit not to ally with third
parties. Alternatively, it may be a very loose arrangement designed
largely to impress customers and competitors with the size of the network
the business partners belong to.
Marriage.
Husband says to his wife "Darling, why are you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" His wife then replies, "Because I
married the wrong man."
Rejection.
"Everyone who's ever loved you was wrong."
"I don't care what people say about you. You're alright."
"Somewhere out there a tree is working very hard to replace the
oxygen you consume. Now go apologize to it."
Wife says to her husband, "What are you
doing?" Husband replies, "Nothing". Then his wife replies "But you have
been reading our marriage certificate for an hour, so you must be doing
something?" Husband replies, "I was looking for an expiration date."
Julie Andrews - Getting to know you (youtube)
-
It's a very ancient saying, But a true and honest thought, That if you become a teacher, By your pupils
you'll be taught, As a teacher I've been learning, You'll forgive me
if I boast, And I've now become an expert, On the subject I like most,
Getting to know you, Getting to know you, Getting to know all about
you, Getting to like you, Getting to hope you like me, Getting to
know you, Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup
of tea, Getting to know you, Getting to know all about you, Getting
to like you, Getting to hope you like me, Getting to know you,
Putting it my way, But nicely, You are precisely, My cup of tea,
Getting to know you, Getting to feel free and easy, When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say, Haven't you noticed, Suddenly I'm bright
and breezy? Because of all the beautiful and new, Things I'm learning
about you, Day by day, Getting to know you, Getting to feel free and
easy, When I am with you, Getting to know what to say, Haven't you noticed, Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about you Day by day.
Personal Experiences with Dating
My first kiss was when I was 12 years old in 1972. My girl friend kiss
me to say good bye, and then I rode my mini-bike home. And on the way
home, I felt
so much love that I had an
out of body experience. I was
floating in the air around 50 feet above myself, and I was seeing myself
riding my mini-bike down the street, I was looking down at my body and my
body had know idea that I was no longer in my body, so my body was
temporally on its own. This experience has never left me. It was so
amazing. There are no words that can accurately describe that feeling I
had that day. One weird thing that happened is that when I was riding
under a bridge, and I was seeing right through the bridge when I was
floating above myself. I could see myself riding under the bridge as if
the bridge had disappeared. It seems my connection to myself was stronger
than physical matter, or that physical matter is more fluid when we no
longer possess the physical self? I have had amazing flying dreams before,
but this dream was when I was awake, and I was actually engaged in a
physical activity. This is a different type of dream. All I can say is
"that was one amazing kiss."
"Though I have experienced Love at first
sight many times and
have floated in the air from a single kiss,
I have learned over time to separate my dreams from reality, no matter how
beautiful those moments were and how those memories still please me."
"I had tall girlfriends, short girlfriends, skinny girlfriends and
large girlfriends. And the one thing I learned is that all women are
incredible in their own way. I have been in
love so many times, and most of
the women that I fell in love with, I never knew or never met. And there
were times when a women loved me, but I couldn't tell or I couldn't see
the signs. So love is never a guarantee. If I knew how to
communicate more effectively, love could
have been more of a reality than a fantasy."
Sometimes Feeling Boxed In.
I knew I had a lot of growing up to do, but I
found it hard to
grow up when I was around women, and I also found it totally
impossible to grow up just hanging around with your buddies. But
I learned that the feeling I had, like I was
being boxed in, was
of my own making. So I had to learn how to not build walls and
learn how to build bridges instead of burning down bridges.
Personal Space
-
Boundaries -
Business PartnerSome relationships can be like a
prison for your mind, especially when
you have to
sacrifice your own
freedom,
independence,
privacy, time, money and
personal development
for the relationship.
We need to balance
our work life with our
personal life. But if our
personal life is
sacrificed for a relationship, then a person may have
no real life to
speak of at all, and they may
never even know it.
Don't Fence Me In - Gene Autry (youtube) - Oh, give me land, lots of
land under starry skies above, Don't fence me in. Let me ride through
the wide open country that I love, Don't fence me in.
There were a lot of times in my life where I have stopped dating because I
believed that
the women I dated were killing me. But as time
went on, I realized that there were a lot of other things in my
life that were killing me besides women. I made a lot of bad
choices, and women were not to blame. I was not well informed or
very knowledgeable. It took me a long time to learn this so I'm
lucky that I didn't stop learning and I'm glad that I didn't
give up, because I know, as I have always known, that somewhere
out there in the world, there's the right women for me. And I
don't feel that I waited to long or feel like I wasted time,
because it took as long as what was needed. It was more then
believing that "Good things come to those who wait" or, "
Don't
rush into things", or "Be carful what you wish for", it was more
about "it is what it is", my fate, my destiny, my life, my love.
I can't say that I'm totally ready for the women of my dreams,
but I'm more ready now then I ever was. Plus I'm a lot more
mature, I'm more secure and definitely a lot more loving now then I ever was.
It's great
having a girlfriend,
but sometimes you miss the
freedom of being single. And then when you're single, you miss
having a girlfriend. I want
love, I want
friendship, I want a
partnership.
And
sex should just be the bonus or an added benefit that comes from
having
true love.
"Marriage or relationships, no matter how loving, can still become a prison."
Selena Gomez - Same Old Love (youtube)
Why does having a girlfriend sometimes give you a
false sense of security? And why does having a girlfriend
sometimes give you a
false sense of pride or
give you a false sense of
social acceptance? Can't
we just be in love?
With movies like
Fatal Attraction and
The Girl Friend Experience, it makes it hard to start dating again,
especially when most of the girlfriends I had,
wanted a baby more than a
friend and a partner.
I know from my experiences
with women, that there were times when I enjoyed the sex more
than my girlfriends did. That was not intentional of course, it
was mostly from my lack of experience and the fact that
I was an
idiot, and also that some
women did not take the time to show you how to please them, but
maybe they too didn't know how to explain it.
I probably said "I'm sorry" after sex way too many
times. Pleasing a women as much as she pleases me is all I ever wanted.
I want my girlfriend to enjoy sex as much as I do.
A women who has sex with you knowing that she will not enjoy
that sexual encounter, is either a very generous and loving
women, or a women who wants some kind of compensation for her
services. I see nothing wrong with either one as long as the relationship
is honest and not exploitive in any way. Women are like Gods to
me. Women are the giver of life, the guardians of our children,
the loving companionship of man. If a women is not a gift from
God, she is certainly the most loved creation of all Gods creatures.
Dating
-
I was
drowning in my own Insecurities -
The One
I want to make a women feel good, I want her to feel special, I want a
women to feel loved and to feel beautiful, but if not, then maybe we would
be better off being just friends than lovers.
One Night Stand is where loneliness, hornyness and
attraction meets opportunity. It's not a well thought out plan.
Sex is usually better when you're
in
Love when compared to Sex without Love, and
Love
at First Sight, is usually just temporary. I had about 10
one night stands. They were fun, but I would not recommend it. Be careful
of
infatuation. To have sex, I need
to be in love, casual sex is not as good as sex when being in love. Sex to
me was a celebration of love and a confirmation of love. But just being in
love may not be enough. And because you love someone this does not mean
you should have sex with them. Sometimes I was never fully aware of my
love, or if the women loved me back.
Can you have sex and enjoy it without having an emotional
connection with that person? Yes some people do it all the time, not to
say that it's for everyone, or that it's without risk, it's just saying
that it's not that unusual. -
Tom Jones
(youtube)
Madonna -
Beautiful Stranger (youtube) -
Strangers
in The Night - Frank Sinatra (youtube)
-
Mungo
Jerry - In the Summertime
(youtube) -
Regina Spektor-Dance
Anthem of The 80's +Lyrics
(youtube) -
Alvvays - In Undertow
(youtube) -
Something About You
- Level 42
(youtube)
I had an easy time finding a girl friend, but I was not
good at keeping a girl friend. I was not aware of how ignorant I was.
I can easily lose touch with someone and not even
know it.
I was unlucky with women a lot
more than I was lucky with women. But I was lucky to be shy and
insecure, because
too much confidence probably would have ruined my life,
and on top of that, I most likely would have hurt more women than I
pleased. Could I have been confident without being stupid? Could I be
confident and intelligent at the same time? Sure, if I knew then what I
know now. But I have a feeling that would still make mistakes with women,
because relationships are never that simple. A second chance at love has
no guarantee of success.
Going back in
time to give love a second chance.
It's important to grow and
mature as individuals and as
a couple.
Sometimes we grow apart. And sometimes we just figure out and
realize who we are and what kind of person we would like to have as a
partner. That is why being open and honest is important. But you have to
be sure how accurate your honesty is and if being open about yourself will
be understood the way you intend. We want people to change and we also
want people to stay the same in some ways. The things that we first love
about a person are the things we hope will never change. But you first
have to accurately define those key characteristics that we love about
someone, because what we think is them, might just be a smaller part of a
much bigger picture of who they are.
Don't Change - INXS
(youtube) -
She
Sells Sanctuary - The Cult
(youtube)
Horizon
is the range of interest or activity that can be anticipated.
New Age.
I'm able to
listen to new information and be open minded to other
peoples point of view. And I always remember that words have more than one
meaning, and meanings have more than one word. I don't take a position, I
see all the possible positions available, and then choose or not to choose
a position. You have to be adaptable and be flexible and be able to make
changes that are fair to the other person, and not so unfair to you. To be
made for each other, sometimes the parts don't fit at first, but with a
little work and some filing, parts can fit together really nicely.
Fergie -
Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) (youtube) -
Donnie Iris - Ah
Leah
(youtube)
A lot of women I dated wanted
children. But I could never think that far ahead. I never had
financial security or felt confident with my life. There was too many
unanswered questions. And on top of that, I never thought that I had good
genes that would be worthy of reproducing. I was basically body shaming
myself. Some women even offered me money to get them pregnant. And some
women said that I did not have to be involved or be responsible for
raising the child. Which was crazy. How can I not be involved. And how
could I explain to my child that this was a good idea. This was one of the
reasons why I did not give to sperm banks.
Though I was never lucky enough
to have children of my own, I cant help to care about every child
on the planet. That is not just human nature, this is understanding
reality. We all can't do the same thing, which is why diversity is so
extremely important to life. Everyone can't do everything, but together we
can. We are all on the same team. And when people seem to be against the
team, we have to reach out and remind them that we are all on the same
team. We might not have the same ideas, but we are all on the same boat.
Everyone and everything has value. and we have to fully understand what
that value is in order to make proper use of that value. This is why we
are here.
I didn't plan to have kids, but I
also didn't plan not to have kids because I had unprotected sex. Maybe if I found the right women I may have, so
it just turned
out that way. Should of, would of, could of. Dammed if you do
and dammed if you don't. I definitely had a problem with commitment. I was
not knowledgeable enough to make such a long term and life changing
decision. I don't regret not having children or am I ever
saddened by it. I just hope that I can do enough good things that
would make big differences in the world, something that would
benefit all children, which is why I'm been working on
BK101. Would I ever get married? Of course I would. But that women
would have to be
self
directed learner who wants to be incredibly intelligent and mentally and
physically strong. I'm not looking for my equal or
someone perfect, I'm just
looking for a women who never stops learning, a women who loves
to ask the right questions, a women who's not afraid to make
mistakes, a women who's passionate about improving education, a
women who can look you in the eyes and say 'I'm all in and I'm with you till
the end'.
My genes are not as valuable as the love I can
give, or as valuable as
the knowledge I can give. Passing on good genes is
really important, but passing on intelligence is just as important. My
genes can build a good machine, but my machine needs the best software,
and I have some of the worlds greatest software. So instead of focusing on
my own personal seed, I am more focused on all the other seeds that need
healthy soil, air and water to grow. The world will survive without my
seed, but the world will not survive without knowledge.
I didn't
have any children of my own, but at the moment, I'm responsible for the 8
billion kids who inhabit planet earth. So you can say that I adopted an
entire planet. And what's weird is that it seems that I didn't even have a
choice. It was like the universe was training me my whole life for this
position. Everything I learned in life all came down to a logical
decision, which was to adopt. I'm not your father, I'm not your mother, I
am your brother. And I'm not your big brother, I'm just your brother. I
also adopted learning, and learning loves to learn, so we're always
learning together, even when we're not physically together, we are always
together.
Adopt is to include
someone into one's family, or to legally raise a child as if it were your
own. To take on titles, offices, duties and responsibilities. To choose
and to follow ideas, policies, strategies or plans. To take up the cause,
ideology, practice and methods of someone and use it as one's own. To take
up and practice as one's own. To choose to take up, follow, or use. To
acquire as your own by free choice. To take on a certain form, attribute,
or aspect.
Settle Down
is to start living a quiet life in one place. To get married and to buy a
house and to have children.
"I feel like I was not meant to settle
down, but to settle up." It's not that I have high standards, it's just
that I don't have low standards that make me vulnerable to manipulation.
Settle Up is
to pay a debt or to
pay one's
share of the cost. To pay all of an amount of money that you owe. To
resolve something, such as an argument or a dispute.
Hypergamy -
Arranged Marriages
I would never marry a women for money, power or social status. I would
marry a women for her intelligence. There is nothing more beautiful than a
women who likes learning. To be in love and learning together would be the
ultimate couple. So watch out universe, we're coming. Simultaneously
screaming orgasms so intensely that our love vibration will be felt in the
farthest reaches of the universe.
Being nice and
being a gentlemen and having a good sense of humor makes you very
attractive and likable to a lot of women. I didn't play head games or
pretend to be someone I wasn't. Every women deserves a good man, and I
wanted to be that man. I knew I would be a good husband
and a good father, but I also knew I that was not ready because I was not
knowledgeable enough to take on these responsibilities, so I waited, and
in doing so,
I found my true destiny.
Educate people so that future parents will always be ready.
I found a photo of myself on a Dating Website that I
never joined. I guess my photo was used to trick women into joining. Even
when I asked the dating website to remove the photo, it still took months,
and I'm not sure if my photo is still being used.
I was thinking about becoming a Professional
Fake Boy Friend
so I could help women stay single while avoiding the pressures and
constant nagging from family and friends for them to get married and to
start a family. But now I'm too old for that.
I dated over
fifty women from 1975 to 2005, and I was in love with a hundred other
women who I never asked out. I didn't have sex with every women I
dated. Dating women wasn't all about sex, it was mostly about love,
companionship and friendship. Sex was mostly an added benefit. Never
having sex with a women that you're dating helps make breaking up a little
easier. Some women were more interested in sex. And if I didn't have sex
with them, they would take it personally. Dammed if you do, dammed if you
don't. I would
fall in love with women, and sometimes without even knowing why. It was
like a beautiful dream. Like I have been hypnotized. And I didn't mind
women falling out of love with me, because I have fallen out of love with
women too. Losing love hurts, losing love sucks, but having love and
losing it is better than no love at all. I would rather have a broken
heart than an empty heart.
According to a survey of adults aged 20
to 59, women have an average of 4 sex partners during their lifetime; men
have an average of 7.
I don't have any
regrets, what I have are
lessons learned, along
with some incredible
experiences. And the beauty of it is, I can share all my
experiences and knowledge and
pass
it on. There is nothing more valuable than sharing what you
have learned, after all,
my life benefited in many ways from
people in the past and present who also took the time and effort
to share their experiences and knowledge, a lot of which also
improved the life of millions. Not to say that we are there yet,
but at least now we can finally see a better future. And as we
get closer, the more defined our future will become. (12 / 9 / 2013).
I give my heart and soul to my family and to my friends, and I never
expect the same respect in return. I give as much as I can, but self
explorations and responsibilities have always taken time from people I
care about. But when people question my faith and my resolve, and when
they assume things that are not real or factual, I have to adapt.
Adaptation is a survival mechanism, which is why things live for long
periods of time and why humans are alive today. I forgive people for their
miss-understandings, but it does change things. I tend to spend more time
on people who appreciate my efforts and who are grateful for my efforts,
and I spend less time with people who don't seem to care. But this is not
always always the case. You can never spend enough time with the people
you care most about, because
you can only do so much. You just hope that
people will understand this and make the effort to connect with you. But
don't expect things from people and try not to reject people who fall
short of your expectations.
I would say I love you more often, but
I'm not sure who you are? It's not that I don't love you,
because I do love you. It's that when I say I love you to
someone, I want them to be sure what part of them I love. I
certainly don't love everything about you, but I also don't love
everything about me either, because no one is perfect. So please
remember that love is always there, but don't expect love to
always be there for you, because love needs love too. And
reaching out is the same as reaching in. For love to truly
connect it must come from both sides, without any expectations
or conditions.
Love is
pure,
and in order for love to flourish you must agree to be pure with
love. Positive or Good Attracts Good, and Negative Repeals
Positive or Good. That's one of the main reasons why
loving
yourself and
forgiving yourself is important.
This is way beyond the
law of attraction, this is about being good because you know
what being good is and you have learned how being good benefits
others. This is not about being good so that other people like you, that's
false advertising, Misleading, Deceptive, Manipulative and
Fake. True Love will never be found through coercion, force or
pressure. And rejection is not about someone rejecting love,
it's just not excepting the deliverer. So find another way to
deliver your message of love or find someone else who can
deliver this love. If you can't do either then put this refusal
aside for another time when more information and knowledge is
learned.
I remember when I had a girl friend when
I was young,
the relationship made
some of my male friendships more complicated. Because now you have
something to do that I can't share with them. I have done this to
friends, and I have also had friends do this to me. It sucks, but it
shouldn't. The way you handle new aspects of a relationship is to express
the awkwardness and separation anxiety before they get misunderstood. There will be new rules, and some things will not be the same. Men
will be
a little paranoid of what the new girl friend will think, so they will act
differently, while their friends will act the same way. You want a
girlfriend who will not change the relationships with your male friends,
but you also want a girlfriend who will voice her opinion, because she
could make you see something that you might not be aware of. You can't
treat your girl friend like one of the guys. But why would you treat
anyone differently? You don't want to say certain things to your
girlfriend, but why do you say certain things with your male friends? You
have to question whether these differences in behavior are healthy. To
have a good relationship is to have good teamwork, each person looking out
for the other. The more we learn about relationships, the easier they
become, and the more beneficial they will be.
"I always dream of having a wonderful relationship with a women, but I
know that some dreams are always better than reality. So I have to
start learning how to create a wonderful relationship, instead
of just dreaming about having one."
I have as much to offer a women
as a women has to offer me, meaning, if you define all the
important qualities that you know are valuable, you'll find that
men and women will always share similar qualities. The problem
is we don't always share those similar qualities at the same
time, or in the same way Our freedom has made it possible for us
to be out of sync, but out of sync should not mean out of touch.
If we improve this imperfection in our thinking, we'll have a
lot more love in our relationships, and a lot more time to enjoy
life then ever before. Sync up and get in touch.
Future Dating Possibilities
My priorities have changed,
so a lot of things are on hold for now.
For now,
I need to focus on my work, so I try
to avoid taking on any new responsibilities, and I try to avoid starting any new
relationships that require time and attention that I have little of
because of my work. It wouldn't be fair to
anyone who requires my time and attention when
I'm married to my work.
But I know that someday I will meet the women of my dreams, so
I'm not
that worried about the sacrifices that I have to make right now, because
it will all work out, or at least I hope so. And in 2024, my work is still
extremely important.
Another reason for
going solo many times in my life was at times
I didn't want people following me because I had no idea where I
was going. I also didn't want to keep any of my girls friends
from having the kind of life that they were hoping for. I also
didn't want to follow other people either, because that would
make it hard for me to figure out where I was personally going.
Even if we agreed to find out together, that would still mean
that we might eventually be headed in different directions any
way. I also did not want to influence anyone unless I was
positively sure, and I was wasn't sure of a lot of things. But
anyway, I'm not sure if it was the easy way or the only way, but
I am sure now, that it was the right way for me. And at 53 I'm
still searching, not for that perfect women, just a women who's
perfect for me, and I perfect for her.
(4/5/14).
When I was
younger, I was not overly concerned with how
compatible we were or
concerned about how many things that we had in common. But now that I'm
older,
compatibility and commonalities are very important. I can't waste
time because I have too much important work to do.
I need a business
partner who is also my soul mate, my lover and my trusted friend. And if I
don't find her in this life, I will find her in my next life.
It's hard for me to be
in love a women who has different desires and different goals than I do.
And when we don't openly communicate our differences, especially the
differences in our dreams and goals, that's when we stop understanding
each other. Communication is so crucial. Everyone should highly educate
themselves in communication, it's extremely important. It's hard a have a
healthy relationship when you can't see eye to eye. I would like to love a
women who loves me in the same way that I love her, with admiration and
trust. She knows me and I know her, there's no guessing. When we notice
something different, we talk about it, we don't make assumptions. It's
when we stop talking, that's when we have trouble understanding each
other. When the ego becomes stubborn and stops seeing the whole picture,
and when the ego becomes self centered, the rest of the world suffers and
we end up breaking the chain. Connections keep us together. And when we
loose connection and we can't connect, we drift apart.
I
am looking for someone serious,
but I'm also interested in
meeting nice people and enjoying socializing without having any expectations.
I want
to share my life with someone, but it's not a top priority right now
because my
life is complicated, and I have some really big goals that I need to
accomplish. I'm not saying no to women, I'm just not chasing them like I
awkwardly did in my youth. So I'm definitely looking forward to love, but
I'm also committed to my
goals. So
what's your story?
I stopped actively looking for a new girl friend when I turned 50 in 2010 so I could focus on my work. I still love the
company of women and still love sex with women, its just that
relationships are too demanding, unless that women is a perfect match with
my goals, I will stay single for now.
I can't do dating websites. I can't
say no to thousands of women in the hopes of finding the one. Besides that,
the woman I'm looking for is most likely not on any dating websites. She's
probably like me, working on something important and more focused on her
work than dating someone. We're both waiting for a sign, but we're not
obsessed with it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for God to bring the
women of my dreams, but maybe God knows it's not the
right time. I wanted to be with someone, but the dating
process seemed unnatural. I'm not good at finding the
right women. I don't want to be with someone if I just
end up breaking up with her. I don't want to hurt
someone, because I know how painful it is to have
someone breaking up with me. I would rather have
someone break up with me then to have to break up with
someone.
"I'm not really single, I'm kind of in a
long distance relationship with my future girl friend. So she
technically doesn't exist yet, but I'm hoping to change that
soon."
"I have been in love with the same women since the beginning of time.
But I lost touch with her and I have not seen her for years. I know she's
still around because I never stop feeling her presence. I just don't know
where she is now, and I wonder who is she now? Is she the same women I
fell in love with? I know that I have changed in someways and have
grown in other ways over the years, so I wonder if her changes match's mine. I hope that
we both learned the same things. I feel its time for us to be together
again. I know she's close. And I also know that time is irrelevant. I'm
here, give me a sign."
Knowing
that I can still Fall in Love is a nice feeling.
I'm just glad that I'm still
falling in love after all these years. But of course these
days I'm only falling in love from a distance.
Getting close to a women is still complicated these days. But
there's a few different reasons for being single these days. And
one of the reasons is that I'm not even trying right now. But
that's just one of the reasons. The other reason is that I'm
waiting for my life to be a little bit more stable. But I know
that I shouldn't be waiting for things to be perfect in my life,
because things will never will be totally perfect in my life.
Besides, if the women I want can't handle the imperfections of
my life as they are now, then she would most likely never handle
the tough times.
In sickness or in health, good times or bad times, I don't
want a party pooper in my life. And I could also say that I have
higher priorities in my life right now. But one of the things
that I have been learning lately is that I should never over
look the benefits of having a women in my life. Because finding
the time to look for love, can also be saving time. But I don't
want to waste time with someone. I want to make time with
someone, someone special. I will know who my love is when I find
her. And I know that falling in love will lead me to her, but I
will never be able to reach her if the love that she has for me
is not the same love that I have for her. I'm not picky, I'm
just following my heart. And I know that my heart will lead me
to her, either in this life or the next. So I will never give
up. Time is not that all I have, I also have Love.
Foolish Games - Jewel (youtube) -
Please Don't Leave
Me - Pink
(youtube) -
Stay (Rihanna song)
(youtube) -
Wicked Game - Chris
Isaak (youtube)
-
No, I don't want to fall in love with you (this
girl is only gonna break your heart), Nobody loves no one.
I miss the excitement of dating
someone new. Even though the process from just
dating to have intimacy was sometimes awkward. The fear of
having a bad sexual experience made me a little nervous
sometimes, and a little
self
conscious and paranoid, which makes it
difficult to have a good sexual experience under those
conditions. But when I look back, I'm glad that some
sexual experiences never happened, because if they were
good, they may have made me be with the wrong person.
Sapiosexual is
finding
intelligence sexually attractive
or arousing. A person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or
arousing.
Some people get lucky and
find the right person the first time they meet someone.
Others have multiple relationships before they find the
right person. What ever you do, don't let the
fear of being alone force you into a relationship
that's not right for you. Being single again after an
unfavorable relationship always feels awesome, almost as
awesome as finding a new girlfriend, almost.
"While
you’re busy
looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss
the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy."
"Don't look for the perfect person, look for someone who is perfect for you."
"We waste time looking for the
perfect
lover, instead of creating the
perfect love." (Tom Robbins)
"Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's
seeing an imperfect person perfectly." (Sam Keen)
"I don't need a perfect women, I just need a
women who is perfect for me, and at the same time, I need to be the man
who is perfect for the woman who is perfect for me, so together, we can
have the perfect love."
"Don't wait for the perfect moment, take
the moment and make it perfect."
"Don’t choose the one who is
beautiful to the world, choose the one who makes your
world beautiful."
The more you grow up, the more
you realize that
none of us are easy to be with.
We all suffer from something. We are all carrying something, anxiety, past
traumas, insecurities, fears. The journey of becoming, is messy, it's
complicated, it's human. It’s not about finding someone without
baggage—that person doesn’t exist. It’s about finding someone who’s
willing to unpack alongside you. Real love, real friendship, real
connection is not about being "easy" to be with. it’s about choosing each
other, flaws and all, every single day. It’s about creating a safe space
where both of you can be unapologetically human. We are all works in
progress. We are all a little hard to be with sometimes, and that’s okay.
We are not unified by perfection.
We are unified
by our shared imperfections, our shared struggles, and our shared
humanity. Understand that the cracks in our armor don’t make us weak. They
make us real, and real is where true connection begins.
Halo - Gary Lightbody (youtube)
-
Bread It
Don't Matter to Me (youtube) -
Billy Joel
- She's Always a Women to Me (youtube) -
Amerie - 1
Thing (youtube) -
Belinda Carlisle -
Mad About You
(youtube) -
Leonard
Cohen - Suzanne (youtube) -
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
(youtube) -
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby
(youtube).
The TOADIES Possum Kingdom - Make up your Mind (youtube)
ZAYN,
'Pillowtalk (youtube) - Love doesn't have to be a
Battlefield.
Love Is A
Battlefield - Pat Benatar
Linda Maria Ronstadt
tells you how to let someone down easy and tell them that you're
not interested,
it's not you, it's me. You can't see the forest for the trees, meaning you can't
see the whole situation clearly because you're looking too
closely at small details, or, you can't fully understand the
forest just by looking at the trees.
"You
and
I travel to the beat of a diff'rent drum.
Oh, can't you tell by the way I run, Ev'ry time you make eyes at me. Wo
oh. You cry and you moan and say it will work out. But honey child I've
got my doubts.
You can't see the
forest for the trees. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm knockin'. It's just
that I'm not in the market, For a girl who wants to love only me. Yes, and
I ain't sayin' you ain't pretty. All I'm sayin's I'm not ready for any
person, Place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me. So Goodbye,
I'll be leavin'. I see no sense in the cryin' and grievin'. We'll both
live a lot longer if you live without me."
Kids On: HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE (S2, Episode 4) (youtube)
Love Songs -
Music Knowledge
Fiona Apple - Everyday (Buddy Holly cover) (youtube) - Everyday, it's
a gettin' closer, Goin' faster than a roller coaster,
Love like yours will surely come my way,
(hey, hey, hey). Everyday, it's a gettin' faster, Everyone says go ahead
and ask her, Love like yours will surely come my way, (hey, hey, hey).
Everyday seems a little longer, Every way, love's a little stronger, Come
what may, do you ever long for, True love from me? Everyday, it's a gettin'
closer, Goin' faster than a roller coaster, Love like yours will surely
come my way, (hey, hey, hey). Everyday seems a little longer, Every way,
love's a little stronger, Come what may, do you ever long for, True love
from me? Everyday, it's a gettin' closer, Goin' faster than a roller
coaster, Love like yours will surely come my way, (hey, hey, hey), Love
like yours will surely come my way.
Everyday is a song written by
Buddy Holly and
Norman Petty, recorded by Buddy Holly and the Crickets on May 29, 1957,
and released on September 20, 1957, as the B-side of "Peggy Sue", which
went to three on the Billboard Top 100 chart in 1957. The song is ranked
number 238 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "500 Greatest Songs of
All Time".
Related Subjects
-
Interpersonal intelligence (people smart) -
Acting -
Body Language -
Facial Expressions -
Micro-Expressions -
TSA -
when observations are flawed -
Intrapersonal intelligence
-
Self Smart -
Personalities -
Who Am
I -
Identify
-
Emotions -
Happiness -
Stress
-
Reactions to Stress -
Lying -
Egos -
Contempt -
Introvert -
Extravert -
Single (solitude is a skill)
-
The Summer of Love -
I love you -
Be
Pure and Be Good
-
Don't be Fake.
Marriage - Weddings
Wedding
is a
ceremony where two people are
united in marriage.
Wedding traditions and
customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic
groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies
involve an exchange of
marriage vows by the couple, presentation of a gift
(offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a
public
proclamation of marriage by an
authority figure. Special wedding
garments
are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a
wedding reception.
Music,
poetry, prayers or
readings from
religious
texts,
literature or
wedding ceremony scripts are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony.
Declaration of Marriage "By the power vested in me by the State of
______, I now pronounce you husband and wife. (Traditional)______,"You may
kiss your ...
Every Wedding Video
(youtube - Trey Kennedy)
Parties who do not wish to be married by
solemnization, which is a ceremony performed by a judge,
religious official or
other efficient, they may instead file a
Declaration of Marriage with the
County Clerk of
District Court office and be recognized as being legally married.
Solemnization refers to the performance
of a formal marriage ceremony
before witnesses. It is the public
performance of a sacrament or solemn ceremony with all appropriate
rituals.
Tie the Knot is to get
married or to perform a marriage ceremony. (The expression derives from an
actual knot used in some marriage ceremonies where it is a tradition to
tie the wrists of the bride and groom with twine, which is symbolic of a
lasting unity or an unbreakable pledge. The expression also derives from
the nets of knotted string which supported beds prior to the introduction
of metal-sprung bedframes, in order to make a marriage bed, you needed to
'tie the knot'.)
Marriage
also called
matrimony or
wedlock, is a socially or ritually
recognized
union or
legal contract between spouses that establishes
rights,
promises and
obligations between them, between them and their children, and between
them and their in-laws, as well as society in general. The definition
of marriage varies according to
different cultures, but it is principally
an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually
sexual, are acknowledged. In some
cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before
pursuing any
sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered
a cultural universal.
Forced Marriage.
Marriage License is a document issued, either by a religious
organization or state authority, authorizing a couple to marry. The
procedure for obtaining a license varies between jurisdictions, and has
changed over time. Marriage licenses began to be issued in the Middle
Ages, to permit a marriage which would otherwise be illegal (for instance,
if the necessary period of notice for the marriage had not been given).
oday, they are a legal requirement in some jurisdictions and may also
serve as the record of the marriage itself, if signed by the couple and
witnessed. In other jurisdictions, a license is not required. In some
jurisdictions, a "pardon" can be obtained for marrying without a license,
and in some jurisdictions, common-law marriages and marriage by
cohabitation and representation are also recognized. These do not require
a marriage license. There are also some jurisdictions where marriage
licenses do not exist at all and a marriage certificate is given to the
couple after the marriage ceremony has taken place.
Marriage Law
refers to the legal requirements that determine the
validity of a
marriage, and which vary considerably among countries. (marriage is like a
contract, if you don't fully understand the fine print, then don't get
married.
Consent should only
happen when you're knowledgeable enough to
understand the
implications.)
Common Law
Marriage is a legal framework in a limited number of jurisdictions
where a couple is
legally considered married after 7 Years together,
without that couple having formally registered their relation as a civil
or religious marriage. (informal marriage, marriage by habit and
repute, or marriage in fact).
Family
Law is an area of the law that deals with family matters and domestic
relations. Also known as matrimonial law or the law of domestic relations.
Human Mating Strategies are a set of behaviors used by individuals to
select, attract, and retain mates. Mating strategies overlap with
reproductive strategies, which encompass a broader set of behaviors
involving the timing of reproduction and the trade-off between quantity
and quality of offspring. Relative to those of other animals, human mating
strategies are unique in their relationship with cultural variables such
as the institution of marriage. Humans may seek out individuals with the
intention of forming a long-term intimate relationship, marriage, casual
relationship, or friendship. The human desire for companionship is one of
the strongest human drives. It is an innate feature of human nature and
may be related to the sex drive. The human mating process encompasses the
social and cultural processes whereby one person may meet another to
assess suitability, the courtship process and the process of forming an
interpersonal relationship. Commonalities, however, can be found between
humans and nonhuman animals in mating behavior.
Partner
is an
associate in an activity, endeavor
or sphere of common interest. A collaborator or a cooperator. A person who is a member of a partnership.
Better Half is a person's partner in
marriage.
Espouse is to choose and
follow theories, ideas, policies,
strategies or plans. To take up the cause, ideology, practice, method, of
someone and use it as one's own. To take in marriage.
Spouse is a person's partner in marriage.
Partnership is the members of a business venture created by contract.
A cooperative relationship between people or groups who agree to share
responsibility for achieving some specific goal. A contract between two or
more persons who agree to pool talent and money and share profits or
losses.
Partnership is an
arrangement where parties, known as
business partners, agree to cooperate to advance their mutual
interests. The partners in a partnership may be individuals, businesses,
interest-based organizations, schools, governments or combinations.
Organizations may partner to increase the likelihood of each achieving
their mission and to amplify their reach. A partnership may result in
issuing and holding equity or may be only governed by a
contract.
Prenuptial
Agreement is a written contract entered into by a couple prior to
marriage or a civil union that enables them to select and control many of
the legal rights they acquire upon marrying, and what happens when their
marriage eventually ends by death or divorce. Couples enter into a written
prenuptial agreement to supersede many of the default marital laws that
would otherwise apply in the event of divorce, such as the laws that
govern the division of property and retirement benefits and savings, and
the right to seek alimony (spousal support) with agreed-upon terms that
provide certainty and clarify their marital rights. A premarital agreement
may also contain waivers of a surviving spouse’s right to claim an
elective share of the estate of the deceased spouse.
Marriage License is a document issued, either by a church or state
authority, authorizing a couple to marry. The procedure for obtaining a
license varies between countries and has changed over time. Marriage
licenses began to be issued in the Middle Ages, to permit a marriage which
would otherwise be illegal (for instance, if the necessary period of
notice for the marriage had not been given). Today, they are a legal
requirement in some jurisdictions and may also serve as the record of the
marriage itself, if signed by the couple and witnessed. In other
jurisdictions, a license is not required. In some jurisdictions, a
"pardon" can be obtained for marrying without a license, and in some
jurisdictions, common-law marriages and marriage by cohabitation and
representation are also recognized. These do not require a marriage
license. There are also some jurisdictions where marriage licenses do not
exist at all and a marriage certificate is given to the couple after the
marriage ceremony had taken place. Article 16 of the Universal Declaration
of Human Rights declares that "Men and women of full age, without any
limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry
and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage,
during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into
only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
Supporting traditional marriage is a good thing. But when you are against
equality and freedom, then you're a
contradiction and a hypocrite and
your ignorance becomes a threat to society. This is why
discrimination is
illegal.
Same-Sex Marriage is marriage between
people of the same sex, either
as a secular civil ceremony or in a religious setting. The term marriage
equality refers to a political status in which same-sex marriage and
opposite-sex marriage are considered legally equal.
Same-Sex Marriage is a relationship between
persons of the same
sex and can take many forms, from romantic and sexual, to non-romantic homosocially-close relationships. The term is primarily associated with
gay and
lesbian relationships.
Same-sex marriage refers to the institutionalized recognition of such
relationships in the form of a marriage; civil unions may exist in
countries where same-sex marriage does not. The term same-sex relationship
is not strictly related to the sexual orientation of the participants. As
people of any orientation may participate in same-sex relationships
(particularly depending on the legal, social and scientific definition of
sex, that often erases the birth gender assignment-diverging identities of
binary and genderqueer/non-binary trans people and those of ethnic genders
alike), some activists claim that referring to a same-sex relationship as
a "gay relationship" or a "lesbian relationship" is a form of bisexual
erasure.
"Same sex marriage is not privilege, its equal rights.
Privilege would be gay people not paying taxes, like churches don't."
Fornication is
consensual sexual
intercourse between two people not married to each other.
Arranged
Marriages
Interracial
Marriage is a form of marriage outside a specific social group
(
exogamy) involving spouses who belong to different socially-defined
races
or racialized ethnicities. It became legal in the entire United States in
1967 when the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in the case
Loving v.
Miscegenation is sexual relations or marriage between people who are
considered to be members of different races. Virginia that race-based restrictions on marriages violated the
Equal Protection Clause of the
United States Constitution.
Multi-Racial -
Racism -
Polyamory -
Compatible -
Single
Parents
Exogamy is a social
arrangement where
marriage is allowed only outside a social group. The
social groups define the scope and extent of exogamy, and the rules and
enforcement mechanisms that ensure its continuity. In social studies,
exogamy is viewed as a combination of two related aspects: biological
and
cultural. Biological exogamy is marriage of nonblood-related beings,
regulated by forms of incest law. A form of exogamy is dual exogamy, in
which two groups engage in continual wife exchange. Cultural exogamy is
marrying outside a specific cultural group; the opposite being endogamy,
marriage within a social group.
Endogamy is the
practice of
marrying within a specific social group, caste or
ethnic
group, rejecting those from others as unsuitable for marriage or other
close personal relationships.
Hypergamy is a term used in social science for the act or practice of
a person dating or marrying a spouse of higher social status or sexual
capital than themselves, or dating up, or marrying up, or forming a sexual
relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational
background. Hypogamy refers to marrying a person of lower social class or
status. Marrying down.
Marital
Conversion is religious conversion upon marriage, either as a
conciliatory act, or a mandated requirement according to a particular
religious belief. Endogamous religious cultures may have certain
opposition to interfaith marriage and ethnic assimilation, and may
assert prohibitions against the conversion ("marrying out") of one their
own claimed adherents. Conversely, they may require the marital conversion
of those who wish to marry one of their adherents.
Forced
Assimilation -
Cultural Assimilation
Interfaith
Marriage traditionally called "
mixed marriage", is marriage between
spouses professing different religions. Although interfaith marriages are
most often contracted as civil marriages, in some instances they may be
contracted as a religious marriage. This depends on religious
prohibitions against the marriage by the religion of one (or both)
spouses, based on religious doctrine or tradition. In an interfaith
marriage, each partner typically adheres to their own religion; this
excludes a marriage of a spouse belonging to religion X to a spouse who
has undergone religious conversion from religion Y to religion X.
Interfaith marriage is also distinct from the concepts of religious
assimilation, cultural assimilation, religious disaffiliation, and
apostasy. Despite the distinction, these issues are associated with
aspects of interfaith marriage. Interfaith marriage is also distinct from
interracial and inter-ethnic marriage (also known as "mixed marriage"),
since spouses in an interfaith marriage may share the same race or
ethnicity. In some religions, religious doctrine prohibits interfaith
marriage. In others, religious tradition opposes interfaith marriage but
may allow it in limited circumstances. Several major religions are mute on
the issue, and still others allow it with requirements for ceremony and
custom. For ethno-religious groups, resistance to interfaith marriage may
be a form of self-segregation.
Auto-Segregation
is the separation of a religious or ethnic group from the rest of society
in a state by the group itself. This could also mean inability for a
normal social interaction and a form of social exclusion. Through
auto-segregation, the members of the separate group can establish
their own services, and maintain their own traditions and customs. For
example, some of the world's uncontacted peoples have preferred not to
interact with the rest of the globally integrated human population. By
remaining in a reserve and in isolation, they can preserve their cultures
intact as long as they choose and the surrounding states protect them.
On the other hand, some groups
self-segregate to avoid integrating with other groups, either to protect
their culture or some may self-segregate from others that they consider
intellectually and/or socially inferior. Nationalists (non-racists) or
racists, ultranationalists, other 'supremacist' or ethno-centric groups
commonly segregate themselves from other communities through various
practices like endogamy. The apartheid system in South Africa was an
example of this trend.
Separatism -
Secession -
Sexless Marriage
Religious
Segregation is the separation of people according to their religion.
The term has been applied to cases of religious-based segregation
occurring as a social phenomenon, as well as to segregation arising from
laws, whether explicit or implicit. The similar term religious
apartheid has also been used for situations where people are separated
based on religion, including sociological phenomena.
Racial
Segregation is the separation of people into racial or other ethnic
groups in daily life.
Multi-Racial -
Racism.
Sex Segregation
is the physical, legal, and cultural separation of people according to their biological sex.
"I don't need to be married to show how much I love someone or to
show how much I care about someone. To say that I am committed to someone
is to say that I believe in them. But that does not necessarily mean
forever. People change, the world changes, there is always change. So all
contracts are
relative. If
we develop together in the same way and have the same goals and direction,
we stay together. If not, then we find a way to work it out or we move on
from different places."
Asking for Marriage - Proposing
Propose is to ask someone to marry
you. A
proposal.
Marriage
Proposal is an event where one person in a relationship asks for the
other's hand in marriage. If accepted, it marks the initiation of
engagement, a mutual promise of later marriage. It often has a ritual
quality.
Engagement is a
promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal
and a marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed
(Pledged), "intended", affianced, engaged to be married, or simply
engaged.
Reminiscing -
Little River Band (1978) (youtube) - Friday night, it was late, I was
walking you home, We got down to the gate and I was dreaming of the night,
Would it turn out right, How to tell you girl,
I
want to build my world around you, Tell you that it's true, I want
to make you understand
I'm talkin' about a
lifetime plan, That's the way it began, we were hand in hand, Glenn
Miller's Band was better than before, We yelled and screamed for more, And
the Porter tunes (Night and Day), Made us dance across the room, It ended
all too soon, And on the way back home
I promised
you'd never be alone, Hurry, don't be late, I can hardly wait, I
said to myself when we're old, We'll go dancing in the dark, Walking
through the park and
reminiscing, Friday night,
it was late, I was walking you home, We got down to the gate and I was
dreaming of the night, Would it turn out right, Now as the years roll on,
Each time we hear our favorite song, The memories come along, Older times
we're missing, Spending the hours reminiscing, Hurry, don't be late, I can
hardly wait, I said to myself when we're old, We'll go dancing in the
dark, Walking through the park and
reminiscing.
Vikki Carr - It
Must Be Him (1967) - (youtube) - I tell myself what's done is done, I
tell myself don't be a fool, Play the field have a lot of fun, It's easy
when you play it cool, I tell myself don't be a chump, Who cares, let him
stay away, That's when the phone rings and I jump, And as I grab the phone
I pray, Let it please be him, oh dear God, It must be him or I shall die,
Or I shall die, Oh hello, hello my dear God, It must be him but it's not
him, And then I die, That's when I die. After a while, I'm myself again, I
take the pieces off the floor, Put my heart on the shelf again, You'll
never hurt me anymore, I'm not a puppet on a string, I'll find somebody
else someday, That's when the phone rings, and once again, I start to
pray, Let it please be him, oh dear God, It must be him , it must be him,
or I shall die, or I shall die, Oh hello, hello my dear God, It must be
him but it's not him, And then I die, That's when I die.
Are you Ready for Marriage?
Percentage of Married Couples that
get a Divorce. In Spain it's 65%, France 55%, Russia 51%, United
States 46%, Germany 44%, United Kingdom 42%, New Zealand 42% and
Luxembourg is 87% with a population of approximately 500,000.
The
divorce rate for those younger than 50 is about twice as high as it is for
adults 50 and older.
Infidelity or extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown
of most
marriages that end in divorce.
Contemptuous
behavior like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling
is the number
one predictor of
Divorce.
Contempt is
the Lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike
the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration,
worthless, or deserving scorn.
Resentment is a
mixture of disappointment,
Anger, and
Fear. It comprises the three basic
emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise—the perception of
injustice.
"Should anyone here present know of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy
matrimony,
speak now or forever hold your peace."
Activism.
Sarcasm -
Overreacting -
Body Language
Some say that being
married makes you live longer, but others say that being married only makes life seem longer.
Life on
drugs does not make life better,
drugs only makes life seem better. Our awareness is a beautiful thing, but only if we pay attention to our
awareness, and only if we actually understand our
awareness accurately
enough. Like any skill or any ability, it's a learned experience from
having access to the correct knowledge and information.
Stories of Long Marriages (senior citizen stories)
Dowry is a payment by the groom or his family to the bride's
parents.
Arranged Marriage -
Women's Rights -
Marriage Builders
There's over 4 million Weddings in America
every year, and an average of 4 million
births.
Not Having Children -
Having Children -
Reproduction -
Baby Earth -
Women's News
Motherhood Penalty in the
workplace, working
mothers encounter systematic
disadvantages in pay, perceived competence, and benefits relative to
childless women. Specifically, women may suffer a per-child wage penalty,
resulting in a pay gap between non-mothers and mothers that is larger than
the gap between men and women. Mothers may also suffer worse job-site
evaluations indicating that they are less committed to their jobs, less
dependable, and less authoritative than non-mothers. Thus, mothers may
experience disadvantages in terms of hiring, pay, and daily job
experience. The motherhood penalty is not limited to one simple cause but
can rather be linked to many theories and societal perceptions. However,
one prominent theory that can be consistently liked to this penalty is the
work-effort theory. It is also based on the mother's intersectionality.
There are many effects developed from the motherhood penalty including
wage, hiring, and promotion penalties. These effects are not limited to
the United States and have been documented in over a dozen other
industrialized nations including Japan, South Korea, The United Kingdom,
Poland, and Australia. The penalty has not shown any signs of declining
over time.
Paid maternity boosts women’s future earnings.
Criticism of Marriage includes the effects that marriage has on
individual liberty,
equality between the sexes, the relation between marriage and violence,
philosophical questions about how much control can a government have over
its population, the amount of control a person has over another, the
financial risk when measured against the divorce rate, and questioning of
the necessity to have a relationship sanctioned by government or religious
authorities.
Marriage Gap describes observed economic and political disparities in
the United States between those who are married and
those who are single. As
part of the marriage gap, unmarried people are "considerably more liberal"
than married people. With little variation between professed moderates,
married people respond to be conservative 9 percent more, and single
people respond to be liberal 10 percent more.
Married people tend to hold political opinions that differ from those of
people who have never married. In the U.S., being a married woman
is correlated with a higher level of support for the Republican Party, and
being single with the Democratic Party. Marriage seems to have a moderate
effect on party affiliation among single people. As of 2004, 32 percent of
married people called themselves Republicans while 31 percent said they
were Democrats. Among single people, 19 percent were Republicans and 38
percent Democrats. The difference is most striking between married and
single women. Married women respond as being Republicans 15 percent more;
single women respond as being Democrats 11 percent more.
Songs about Marriage -
Carly
Simon "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" 1971 (youtube -
great song about thinking of marriage) -
Lesley Gore "You
Don't Own Me" 1963 HD (youtube) -
The White
Stripes-Hardest Button To Button (youtube) -
Going To
The Chapel Of Love- The Dixie Cups (youtube) -
Songs about Marriage (wiki).
Vows - Promises
Promise
is a
commitment by someone to do or not do something. As a noun promise
means a
declaration assuring that one will or will not do something. As a
verb it means
to commit oneself by a promise to do or give. It can also
mean a capacity for good, similar to a value that is to be realized in the
near future.
Responsibility -
Cheating.
Marriage
Vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the
other during a wedding ceremony.
My
Wedding Vows -
Oaths of Service -
Honesty (trust) -
Public
ProclamationPledge is
a solemn
binding
promise to do, give, or refrain from doing something.
Bound by or
as if by an
oath. Promise
solemnly and formally. Give as a
guarantee.
Weddings - Planning the Big Day
Wedding Planner
is a
professional who
assists with the
design,
planning and
management of
a client's wedding. Weddings are significant events in people's lives and
as such, couples are often willing to spend considerable amount of money
to ensure that their weddings are well-organized. Wedding planners are
often used by couples who work long hours and have little spare time
available for sourcing and managing wedding venues and wedding suppliers.
The
Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer Book (Ring-Bound) (amazon)
Wedding Tips & Planning Information -
The Knot
Event Planning
is the application of
project management to the creation and development
of large scale events such as festivals, conferences, ceremonies,
weddings, formal parties, concerts, or conventions. It involves studying
the brand, identifying its target audience, devising the event concept,
and coordinating the technical aspects before actually launching the
event. The process of planning and coordinating the event is usually
referred to as event planning and which can include budgeting, scheduling,
site selection, acquiring necessary permits, coordinating transportation
and parking, arranging for speakers or entertainers, arranging decor,
event security, catering, coordinating with third party vendors, and
emergency plans. Each event is different in it's nature so process of
planning & execution of each event differs on basis of type of event. The
events industry now includes events of all sizes from the Olympics down to
business breakfast meetings. Many industries, charitable organizations,
and interest groups hold events in order to market themselves, build
business relationships, raise money, or celebrate achievement.
Web Cast My Wedding -
Bands & DJ's -
Music Websites -
Love Songs -
Wedding Website"It's better to Thrive before Wive, and to
choose your Wife by the Ear than by your Eye."
I Do....and Now I Don't, So what do you do with that Wedding Ring?
Environmentally Friendly Wedding Ideas -
Vibrant Events -
Plant a Memory -
E Vite
-
Green Weddings -
Green Wedding -
Green Products
-
Make your own Wedding Ring.
Divorce - When Marriages Fail - Separations
Marital Separation occurs when spouses in a marriage
stop living together without getting divorced.
Married couples may separate as an initial step in the divorce process or
to gain perspective on the marriage and determine if a divorce is
warranted. Other couples may separate as an alternative to divorce for
economic or religious reasons, for tax purposes, or to ensure continuing
retirement and/or health insurance benefits for both spouses. A separation
can be initiated informally, or there can be a legal separation with a
formal separation agreement filed with the court. As for a divorce, the
latter may include provisions for alimony, whether to have sole custody or
shared parenting of any children, and the amount of child support.
Separation can give yourself a chance to
look at your relationship while taking the time and space to gain a better
view.
Legal Separation is a legal process by which a married couple may
formalize a de facto separation
while remaining legally married. A legal
separation is granted in the form of a court order. Furthermore, in cases
where children are involved, a court order of legal separation often makes
temporary arrangements for the care, custody, and financial support of the
children ("for the time being"). Thus, part of the court order determines
child custody. Some couples obtain a legal separation as an alternative to
a divorce, based on moral or religious objections to divorce. Legal
separation does not automatically lead to divorce. The couple might
reconcile, in which case they do not have to do anything in order to
continue their marriage. If the two do not reconcile, and they wish to
proceed with a divorce, they must file for divorce explicitly. (sometimes judicial
separation, separate maintenance, divorce a mensa et thoro, or divorce
from bed-and-board).
Separation is the
action or state of moving or being moved apart.
Fake Love -
Cheating
-
Jealousy -
Rejection -
Life After Prison -
Transitions -
Stages of Grief
Silent Divorce is when a couple may be
legally married but have effectively ended their emotional and physical
relationship.
Quit Quitting.
Family
Therapy is a branch of
psychotherapy that works with families and couples in
intimate
relationships to nurture
change and
development. It tends to view change
in terms of the systems of interaction between family members. It
emphasizes family relationships as an important factor in psychological
health. (also referred to as couple and family therapy, marriage and
family therapy, family systems therapy, and family counseling).
Couples
Therapy attempts
to improve
romantic relationships and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Divorce
is also known as dissolution of
marriage, is the
termination of a marriage or marital union, the
canceling or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of
marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married
couple under the rule of law of the particular country or state. Divorce
laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries divorce
requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal
process, which may involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child
custody, child visitation / access, parenting time, child support,
distribution of property, and division of debt. In most countries,
monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to
marry another person; where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not,
divorce allows the woman to marry another person. Divorce should not be
confused with annulment, which declares the marriage null and void,
with legal separation or de jure separation (a legal process by which
a married couple may formalize a de facto separation while remaining
legally married) or with de facto separation (a process where the
spouses informally stop cohabiting). Reasons for divorce vary, from
sexual incompatibility or lack of independence for one or both spouses
to a personality clash.
Every 13 seconds, someone in the United States files for
divorce.
Annulment
is a legal procedure within secular and religious legal systems for
declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is usually
retroactive, meaning that an annulled marriage is considered to be
invalid from the beginning almost as if it had never taken place
(though some jurisdictions provide that the marriage is only void from
the date of the annulment; for example, this is the case in section 12
of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 in England and Wales). In legal
terminology, an annulment makes a void marriage or a voidable marriage
null and lacking any legal or binding force.
Void in law
is something that lacks any legal or binding force or has no
legal effect or is declare invalid. An action, document, or transaction which is void is of
no legal effect whatsoever: an absolute nullity — the law treats it
as if it had never existed or happened. The term void ab initio, which means
"to be treated as
invalid from the outset," comes from adding the
Latin phrase ab initio (from the beginning) as a qualifier. For
example, in many jurisdictions where a person signs a contract under
duress, that contract is treated as being void ab initio. The frequent
combination "null [Latin origin] and void [Germanic origin]" is an
example similar to "last will [Germanic] and testament [Latin]", making
doubly clear, in both families of English language words, just what is
under discussion.
Leading cause of
a divorce is
infidelity.
When someone cheats on you and has sex with someone else, this can could
reduce the
trust that you
have in that person and also make the relationship vulnerable and
insecure. Infidelity can also be a sign that there is a lack of
commitment.
Getting married too young can also make a marriage more
vulnerable to failure, which is mostly related to peoples lack of
knowledge and information, which could happen at any age.
Drug abuse can
also put a strain on a marriage. But
addictions
of any kind can cause people to make bad choices that can have negative
affects on a relationship and cause unneeded suffering of the user and
unneeded suffering of the people close to them.
Finances and money can
also have negative affects on relationships. Money is another problem that
is directly related to the lack of education and people not educating
themselves enough during their life.
Constant arguing or Bickering is
another problem that is directly related to the lack of education and
people not educating themselves.
Communication issues will always be
present with couples who don't educate themselves. Couples who educate
themselves together often stay together. When couples are not learning to
understand themselves better and learning to understand other people
better, then they will always experience problems, like Weight Gain,
Intimacy Issues and
Domestic
Abuse.
Four Horsemen are four
markers of relationship failure with a 93 percent accuracy in predicting
divorce:
Criticism,
Defensiveness,
Contempt, and
Stonewalling.
Irreconcilable Differences
is a no-fault grounds for divorce, which means neither party committed any
sort of extenuating act, such as adultery, abandonment or extreme cruelty.
In other words, no-fault divorce is just like it sounds—
no
single party is at fault for the breakdown of the marriage.
Irreconcilable differences is the sole grounds for divorce, with adequate
proof being that the estranged couple have been separated for more than 12
months.
Irretrievably is something
that cannot be retrieved or put right or something impossible to recover,
recoup or overcome.
Irretrievably Broken
means one or both spouses believe the marriage is simply over and neither
places blame or fault on the other.
No Fault Divorce allows a couple to divorce without blame or fault.
It's a type of divorce where the spouse asking for a
divorce does not have to prove that the other spouse did something wrong.
No-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does
not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. Laws providing for
no-fault divorce allow a family court to grant a divorce in response to a
petition by either party of the marriage without requiring the petitioner
to provide evidence that the defendant has committed a breach of the
marital contract.
Even if you know your
spouse doesn't want a divorce, you still have to give them the
legally required time to respond to the divorce papers. This time is
usually 20 to 30 days. If they don't respond or they respond saying they
refuse to participate, your next step is the same either way. File for a
default divorce. Filing divorce petition: If husband denies to give
divorce, and the attorney recommends going ahead with a contested divorce,
the wife may ask the attorney to file a divorce petition and file it in
the relevant court. A divorce petition can be filed even if husband denies
to give divorce. Men who are ignorant scumbags don't want women to have
the right to divorce their husband. Asshole men want to keep a women as
their sex slave against their will, even when the man is abusive and an
asshole. For centuries, divorce in the West was a male tool of control—a
legislative chastity belt designed to ensure that a wife had one master,
while a husband could enjoy many mistresses. Some assholes even use
religious beliefs as a reason to be an
ignorant scumbag to women. Let's see how that goes in a real court of law,
you
narrow minded terrorist.
No-fault, except for the fact that I was stupid to get married to someone
I didn't really know, and I was stupid for not knowing myself well enough
to see that we were not right for each other. Incompatible personalities
and differences in beliefs and preferences are the most common reasons for
divorce. Sometimes you can get lucky, the person you married turned out to
be a good person who was patient and tolerant and had just enough
compatibility to make the marriage work. As long
as the marriage does not impede personal growth or speed up decay, the
marriage will benefit everyone. In a marriage, you want to change for the
better, not change for the worse because the other person was stubborn and
narrow minded. If you have high empathy, you should be with someone who
also has high empathy, because a low empathy person will waste your
empathy and energy. Marriage shouldn't be a prison for your mind, a
marriage should be a sanctuary for spiritual development and exploration.
If you can't be in a good marriage, then you are
better off being single
until you find the right person. Love shouldn't be a prison for the person
giving love or for the person being loved. Be happy to have loved and be
happy to have been loved, but
don't let your love turn into an obsession, or into a possession.
Approximately 69% of divorces are initiated by women. Wives are the
ones who most often file for divorce at 66 percent on average. That figure
has soared to nearly 75 percent in some years. Arkansas remained the state
with the highest divorce rate in the US with 23.27 women divorcing per
1,000 married women in 2022.
Na Na Na Na Hey Hey-ey Goodbye (youtube)
See you latter Alligator. Bye bye Butterfly. Take care Polar
Bear. See you soon Baboon. Got to go Buffalo.
Let's jam Sam. Chop
chop Lollipop. Better shake Rattlesnake. Better swish Jellyfish
In
a while Crocodile. In a hour Sunflower. Maybe two Kangaroo.
Give a
hug Ladybug. Blow a kiss Goldfish. Be sweet Parakeet. Chow chow Brown Cow.